Feelings

and when it feels like its falling away
and you cant grab it at all as the water has just surrounded it
and you see them struggling for air but its becoming too hard
and you cant stop the tears from falling
and you can see their whole lives playing out before you
and you think they liked you
and you believed you mattered to them
and you thought they cared
and that they wanted to get to know you
and when you werent in the room you didnt hear the laughing
the giggling at your expense
you didnt see the looks they gave as you walked away on your break
you didnt believe the truth people tried instilling on to your brain
people just twisted it all up
and it just got knotted
and it was knotted around their necks now
and it was choking them as quick as the water was
and they just smiled as they faded away into the ocean
and they just haunted your dreams at night
and all you found was the stress of it all in your nightmares
peoples names flying round your head
nobody waking u up or caring
nobody realising the damage it was doing
just continuing to breathe the same air was proving toxic
just carrying on the charade just kept the laughter at your life
not like you these people
not to the point
not honest
not brave and not strong
just sheep and just wrong
and just bullies

remembering that the feelings are real and that it does hurt and that sometimes you have to stand up for yourself however hopeless,
however difficult you have to fix your smile and walk on in, shoulders back, head held high and just accept that some people just arent worth your tears or your stress or your disturbed sleep.