It is sometimes a hard expectation to make upon others
That this will be the last time
That if you tell them it's nothing anymore and this is it
Will they listen
What if you are told it
No more
Nothing left to hold on to
Your hands struggling to hold on to the handles that slip away and disappear into your unconscious
I mean imagine a couple
They have been out on a night together
It has been rocky
Rocky being an understatement
They have had nights of silence after bashing walls with hands and frustration
They yell until the tears sting and stain their faces over the things the other needs to change
Maybe he drank too much
Maybe that was his problem
He'd drink for no reason and no excuse
Just because he could
He would only drink more if you brought it up
As time continued the drinking became his crutch
It was his ammo
If he was angry he fueled it more with this
If you were hurt he would use it
The rows would last for days
Both stubborn so making up was never easy and to be honest it got harder and less compelling as the months dragged on by
One day you wake up
Headache from the tears and the rowing
Headache from the realisation that nothing you say or do will change him
You cannot go on like this..
This night out used your drama skills well
To any bystander you look like the perfect couple
You look good, dress well and laugh at all the right places
Meal few drinks and a night on the dance floor
Only his favourite has joined you
Alcohol is out too
Pints become shots become shorts become pints
He's smoking too much and kissing him is like swiping an ash tray
Your attention is not on him so he finds it off others
Making a fool of himself as he's falling on people as he sways
Drink in hand
Security remove him twice for smoking inside
It's call a cab time and he's spent all his money
You end up walking
You are upset
He's drunk
You cannot go on like this...
