Stand up and be counted

It's the worst thing ever when it happens
That moment when you think hang on a moment
I have lost myself
The reflection has changed
No one could have prevented it as at the end of the day life makes you who you are
I didn't see it happening but I did start to feel different
Like the person I was, was drowning
She had given up
Her courage was dying
She had become accepting of the treatment
She even began to agree with them

When I was growing up I was always strong and assertive
I was never pushed or weakened
My siblings could rely on me
I always had their back
Always stood up for the right
For the morally right

I'm so saddened I've been dampened
That my spirit is stuck in clouds
But I know I can get her back
She is worth so much more
I am capable of fixing this
I won't be subject to this

I've seen the damage now
I know it's enough now

My Nan's saying :

Don't let the basterds grind you down

Stand up and be counted

It's the worst thing ever when it happens
That moment when you think hang on a moment
I have lost myself
The reflection has changed
No one could have prevented it as at the end of the day life makes you who you are
I didn't see it happening but I did start to feel different
Like the person I was, was drowning
She had given up
Her courage was dying
She had become accepting of the treatment
She even began to stick up for herself

When I was growing up I was always strong and assertive
I was never pushed or weakened
My siblings could rely on me
I always had their back
Always stood up for the right
For the morally right

I'm so saddened I've been dampened
That my spirit is stuck in clouds
But I know I can get her back
She is worth so much more
I am capable of fixing this
I won't be subject to this

I've seen the damage now
I know it's enough now

My Nan's saying :

Don't let the basterds grind you down

Skidaddle

Where did you go
Not as much as a good bye
Just a silence that was so deafening
Not a message of thanks or an explanation
Not a final comment
No closure was provided
Years had gone by
The face in my memory was fading
Your laugh was not remembered
You were like a figment
Like something which had never happened
Not really
The memories so old they felt like a different time
A different existence
When I wasn't me
When I was somebody else
Someone I don't remember
I don't remember anything

Some people do that
No word
No clues
Not even a reply on some dumb ass app

Your loss
Your issues
No longer on my radar
Clear head
That has been removed from my chest
Nothing more than a documentation of my thoughts as they happen
When my mind is quiet and I think omg yes, where are they?

One lady one meal

Tonight I saw innocence
A lady on her own
Eating a meal
It made me emotional
I wasn't pitying her
I just saw strength
To know people were able to deal
She left her plate perfectly
I admire her
People like that make me feel happy

Hit me like a...

Hit me like a brick
Like one out of our garden
That's been laid newly
The one which makes us smile

Hit me like the rays
Up high in that blue surrounding
That encasement of beauty
That brought me to you

Hit me like a dizzy spell
Like the one which gets me now and then
When I'm sat with you
Or walking next to you

I am so lucky
That's what hit me
That's what sank on in deep below the skin
That's what made me halt full stop
In the middle of the street
Holding up strangers hurrying past me
That's what happened

Like a lightning bolt
No warning
The weather man had got it wrong
Like they do
Always do, have you noticed how much so?

Not that the weather would have stopped us
It was glorious on our day though
You couldnt of asked for more
Not even more sun
Even during the vows
When it was trickling down from the beautiful roof of our existence
I welcomed it with a smile
We were holding hands
It calmed us down
It relaxed us
The rain can do that sometimes
But only if it's slight
None of this rain fall shite

I digress
What hit me more so was this
I was walking passed the shops
No music, just me, my heart and my mind working overtime
On route for a new Starbucks concoction
Nothing major
I could feel the wedding band around my finger
I felt it and I could feel two
Two rings
A commitment that held on to me every day
In every way
Not just the heart strings or my racing pulse but my finger
My mind, all entwined
Tightly wrapped up
Secure and wanted
And needed and most of all loved
Loved enough to make a difference
Enough to commit ourselves forever
As one
Together we conquered each other
We both won
Life with our soul twin
Our lover
Our wife