No Good can be found in the What ifs

Pull it all together
Drag it with your nails
Tell yourself things will be better
And believe it with all of your heart
Don't let the words cut into you
Don't let the nastiness stick
Remember how hard you have worked in life
And make sure you make it count
Present yourselves with a smile
Wipe back the stresses and fear
Don't take out moods on your family
Be strong enough to pick anger apart
Don't leave life too late
As we all know the spinning never stops
Grab all the opportunities in front of you
And see what new things you can create

But do remember life can change tracks
And people can drift apart
But as long as you have your own determination
You can handle all that happens, all that hurts and you can carry on

Clashing floors

Struggling with the pain as it rips at my skin, like a flame on my bare arm
I can't feel this way anymore but if I don't does it mean you are gone

Hating the truth and running from my past
Uphill battle with every step
Catching all the pieces as it shatters in my memories
Like glass the shards cut my hands
I am on my knees scraping nails in the earth
Screaming out at the world

I can't believe in anything higher in power anymore
Not when whomever it is, is taking it all
Walking off with my family members, holding their hands
Turning my sunshine days into darkness

I can't believe in anything, not anymore
Not when you just keep taking it all
Not a care or a please
Just a pack up your life, pack up your things, follow me quickly, don't make a sound. For you have died and this is your end, we'll tell them your goodbyes and say you live in the sky....

Such little drops of power

In a world where everyone is trying to be like everyone else
The sheer individuality gets lost in translation
People become sheep
Following blindly in packs
Opinions become echoes of louder voices
People go home with heads lost in confusion
Trembling with anger from forcing down meals of lies and fear
Choking on the everso unclean air surrounding our every inch of body
Waking through the night whilst our thoughts crash and cause destruction in our heads
Drenched in sweat from guilt and beaten consciences
To be forced into submission
To watch the news and be numb
To see the world crash into the walls of this prison the devils create
To fall to the floor, heavy and exhausted
Tears streaming down our painted on faces, ripping up our socially acceptable attire
Drinking till our hearts stop beating
Searching for the souls we were born with
Hoping the silence passes and our real wants and desires break out in noise

Note to self.

Who does it for you?
When you're sat there with your wants and needs..
Who grabs the opportunities for you and makes them happen?
Who picks up the pieces when a love is lost or a dream is crushed?
Who?
Is it your parents, with their own lives flying past at a rate... with your upset over the truth of age.. and how time is running out
Or your siblings who are making their own lives count?
Is it your colleagues who you spend more time with than anyone?
Those past by uni pals?
Your fears?
Do they guide you through your day...
Or is it you?
Who allows you to revisit the past
Who makes you sad
Who creates the thoughts and the worries?
It is you?
It has only ever been you..
So if you want or need some guidance
Dig deep, reach into yourselves and fix the tears, create the smile
Realise it was only ever you holding yourself back.
Today is the day you realise this and start making the smiles again.

Saying it as it is... since 1987

Stop it
Let the current pull you under
Let life hang in the balance
Go on, I dare you.

Let it
Don't forget your meaning
Remember life is one shot
No point just wishing... make it happen

Forget it
I won't be fixing your errors
I am not your get out card
I have my life too

Love it
This is all ours for the taking
Stay up late, watch the sunrise, dream hard, love deep, fall fast, face fears, strive above... stop looking passed you
Never look down at your past
It put you where you are today...

Colourful prints

Flowers will always find a way to grow
Kids will trample on them, rip at them, kill them...
But they'll always come back

They will repair themselves
Prove us wrong
They will re root and grow through concrete
We will comment on their appearance
They will cheer people up
Celebrate lost life
Sit in windowsills absorbing the sunlight
They are everywhere
Epitomy of a pretty countryside
Bring a smile to the saddest face
Help people embrace
Remind us of war lost heroes
Oh how I love them
Flowers
One of lifes pleasures

Unmarked Pavement

It didnt work out, I said
There was too much against it
Life isn't about riding a storm everyday
You can't keep fighting
Eventually we'll have nothing left

I wasnt particularly upset
I was just relieved it had ended some way
I was too exhausted
I wanted a new reason to live
So I'm off to find that

Not Even Sure Anymore

I don't know what to say
Does that surprise you?
I guess you always think I do
But tonight, not a whisper

I can't even tell you how I feel
It's all too much
Just a huge reel, spiralling round and round
I don't wanna tell you I'm a weak person but sometimes I feel I can be
Sometimes not even I can joke myself out of the pit

I wanted to tell you my dreams
I wanted you to know it all
But I figured out quickly, for what?
Why would I?
Do you even?

Silence spreads through the house
Its like we've left the street
Left our neighbourhood
Left the moment
Just silence and stress
Questions with no answers
Faces with no expression

Morning Scribbles

Silly little games
Thats all they play
Till that fateful, judgement day
Not a serious noise in the room
Jus banter and weakness.

Stretch out your legs
Make sure you have the room
To be all you can be
Ride that storm.

Don't get this twisted
This isn't a joke
This is really happening
I choose not to be hurt.

New routes in life are scary
It's like walking in the dark
But in order to grow up
You have to continue with that path.

One of my Favourite Things

Take yourself to the coast
Walk in silence towards the beach
Remove your shoes and let your feet sink into the sand
Feel the warm breeze cleanse you
Take a seat on a rock and look out at the sea before you
Breathe in deep, like you never have done
Close your eyes
Relax
The sun will keep you warm as it caresses your skin
This is your paradise
This is the reason we get up everyday
And work hard
Pushing our limits
For this... a moment
A moment alone with the sea
The waves crashing in towards you
The hot sunshine brightening every thing in existence
For the fresh sea air
For the blue skies
For the times ahead
For the ease

Take yourself to the coast
Walk along the beach
Remember what we live for..

Choking on my feelings

Such transparency in your actions
Such lies in your words
Your eyes are drenched in mistrust
I don't know how you sleep at night
Your words cause pain like no other
Your actions poison my oxygen
I can't deal with it anymore.

I feel free when you aren't around
Like I have no limits and no orders
Once you are back you kill the smiles
You starve me of happiness
You put me on edge.

I hate how you can be so up and so down
I hate how you make me feel unimportant
You take my confidence and switch it for insecurities
I struggle to get through my day

The worst thing of all is you probably don't even notice
You are too wrapped up in yourself
You swan around like nothing can touch you, but if I look closer I see damage
I see troubled messes
I see denial
I see ignorance
I see unhappiness and confusion
I would of been there, and helped you sort it
But you can't treat me your way
Your way is cruel
And I don't want that
I don't need you
I'm sorry but you're alone this time.

If life was perfect...

Gravelled walkways
Closed windows
Large fields of lost dreams
Sunshine fills our eyes
Take a moment for those who have been and gone
Sit and think of our lives
Lie under the sky and believe
Houses are our shrines
Work is our chore
Money just sticks to everything
Meaningless but so necessary
We fall heavy in love just as fast as we fall out
We argue till voices are strained
Tears stain pillows
Lives pass on by
Time is of the essence
Nothing in sight
Gravelled walkways
Closed windows
Large fields of lost dreams

My Body has Exhausted the Tears

if you see me, leave me
don't come and disturb me for i am not willing to listen to you any more

if you want to speak to me, ask me don't just shout at me
for who knows if ill ever forgive you and want to go back

i wont just sit here like i am typing this out and expect no reaction at all
i just want the calm
the smooth, the getting things sorted, and forgetting that interlude
the drama, the wasters, the "wish i had more timers"
just living it and getting on
and knowing life will change us

i cant control them and their moods and their patience
and i cant take back my words or my actions or my emotions
i felt it i feel it i know it and so do you
but that moment just when you did that
it was like you didn't have a clue

i was just told no, to get on with it and wished good luck
but i was outside it was raining and you didn't give a fuck
and all that i've been through and learnt from and wished i could return to
for those words to just fall out of your mouth

i wont try this any more, not with you, not ever and i will just change lanes change, direction and change myself forever

Falling for the one

Softly I shuffle around the room
I feel completely overwhelmed with my feelings
Whenever you look at me, I become unravelled... my stomach flips like I'm high on adrenaline
I can't remember my words or my thoughts or even who I am
You paralyze me

I look at my presence and I wish to do the same to you
I want you to feel transfixed on me
I want you to smile when you think of me
I want everything

I lie awake at night and you spin around my head
You take over me
I have existed for you
I need to meet you
We need to find eachothers path
We need to become a one
I spend a lifetime searching for the one

And sometimes I think I have found it

Who knows? Maybe I have

Steal Me Quick

Steal me away from this place
Take me quick before I change my mind
Pack all my belongings and meet me at the car
And promise me you will take me far
Don't ask me why or where
Just drive
Play songs that take me back to smiles and laughter
Remind me of my happiness
Tell me I'm yours and you love me with all you are
Make me feel special
Drive until the stars fill the sky
Take the roof off
Watch as my hair blows
As its free, free to do as it pleases
I will love you forever
We will be forever