For we are not here to complain
We are not here to look for more money or more stuff
We are here to live and love hard
For when I think of people with money and stuff I do not picture the happiness or warmth in their smiles
I feel the want of warmth at night with a close loved one, or a walk in the autumn holding hands with their spouse
Stuff is exciting, you unwrap it and you wear it or eat it or show people it
It’s like a trophy
But trophy’s rust
Trophy’s are only as good as their trend or status
When they are no longer on trend they are placed back in a box and take up space in the eaves
They cannot go with us
These clothes and shoes
They cannot all be worn at the same time
The food will only make you fat after all
So why do I feel sick with this feeling of not having trophies?
Why am I worried about money and stuff
Why am I stressing over what I think I need
I have found as you get older, illness becomes more than a day off and daytime tv and being waited on by your mum and dad
It becomes a mental chore
You don’t switch off to rest and relax
You switch on full wack and you blow up your mind with thoughts of everything you cannot do
Everything you should be doing at work but can’t because of being off sick
The list of jobs you will have to do as you return spirals
Your dreams are all work
You wake up thinking about the call to Hr
You sit in your house and you feel guilt
Guilt and almost lazy because you are ill
It all just catches up with you and internally you feel miserable
A waste man
But you are ill
For as a working adult to call in sick and not be would never be
And being off sick is no fun
Not like the days of this morning and loose women, that’s for sure
