I ask you to listen a moment
this isn't easy for me
I suggest you take a seat and get comfy
I don't want to take too long to explain
but the words don't fall easy
my chest feels tight as I keep it all inside
I don't want to let it out just yet
for you all to see
I wont waste your time here, you'll be glad you listened
that you took the time out here today
When it falls we cant hide it any more
we cant shelter when we have nothing in sight
the lot just hits us and sends us swimming away in the flow
slipped and fallen and not having a moment to catch your breath
Family is so precious
taken for granted all too often
arguments over nothings
not realising the what ifs
the anger, the hurt, the pain
the missing and the lonely
family to me is everything
but when it falls away
and you aren't speaking
and you cant stop falling
and its getting dark
and your crying
but they don't know
they aren't even there
Arguments over nothings
that become some things
that destroy everything
that take away the love
that hold onto the grudge
to be let down
to just think its all okay to be this way
if only they knew how they affected others
how they hurt and push it so deep
and how I am sat picking up the pieces so it seems
I want them to just be how they were
how we all were
I ask you to listen a moment
this isn't easy for me
I suggest you take a seat and get comfy
I dont want to take too long to explain
but the words dont fall easy
I want everyone to be talking
everyone to be respectful
to know how its been taken away before
how we have so little grandparents left
that is all I wanted to say today
Never wish your life away... its just too precious...
Saturday 30 June 2012
Tuesday 26 June 2012
I wait
Sometimes at night when its getting late
I just sit and I wait
I wait to see if you call me
Sometimes on days where I have nothing to do
or I am rushing around with too much to do
I wait to see if you're there to lend a hand
I wait for longer than I always say
hoping you will come my way
if only just to say, that you are there for me
I wait so long just to feel
the disappoint you can see in my eyes
as I wipe the tears aside
and try and continue with my life
Sometimes at night when its got so late
and the morning is outside my window about to break
and the birds are lined up, tunes in their head
milkman doing his rounds
sunshine so high up
I wait, I wait I wait
but now I realise there's no need
you are late
you were never there
never a care
I am now aware
[boring off the thoughts of my mind, clearing it out - summer clean is the new spring clean - distortion floats away followed by a new day, new way, new life - better slice]
I just sit and I wait
I wait to see if you call me
Sometimes on days where I have nothing to do
or I am rushing around with too much to do
I wait to see if you're there to lend a hand
I wait for longer than I always say
hoping you will come my way
if only just to say, that you are there for me
I wait so long just to feel
the disappoint you can see in my eyes
as I wipe the tears aside
and try and continue with my life
Sometimes at night when its got so late
and the morning is outside my window about to break
and the birds are lined up, tunes in their head
milkman doing his rounds
sunshine so high up
I wait, I wait I wait
but now I realise there's no need
you are late
you were never there
never a care
I am now aware
[boring off the thoughts of my mind, clearing it out - summer clean is the new spring clean - distortion floats away followed by a new day, new way, new life - better slice]
Sunday 24 June 2012
now we wait
We wait to see what happens next
we don't rush to the ending
we accept it is a game
we see the clouds outside forming
going grey as it starts to get darker
the rain is coming we can smell it
No one wants to say what they are thinking
in fear they might admit their feelings
in worry that it could cause a problem or the very least a row
the curtains get closed and the light goes out
and the street becomes such a quiet almost deserted place to be
everybody is going to sleep as tomorrow is the beginning of the working week
To snuggle with someone would be a nice change
to see my crush could cause me some pain
but mostly comfort to see her smile once more
and talk and laugh and just be as normal as we can
I never meant to hurt myself with all these feelings
I didn't think it would last this long truth be told
the evenings seem much more relaxed of late
and I like that
tears were aplenty though this weekend
the concept of change does continue to shock me
to seep on in and drown me with its fear and loneliness
Now we wait
we cant do anything else now
we cant make it be or stop it from being
we cant make the feelings go or appear in her heart
see I am just human also
needs and wants surround me too
smiles and tears appear on my face also
till the day I have it, I won't take this for granted
I shall try my best to enjoy it with or without you.
we don't rush to the ending
we accept it is a game
we see the clouds outside forming
going grey as it starts to get darker
the rain is coming we can smell it
No one wants to say what they are thinking
in fear they might admit their feelings
in worry that it could cause a problem or the very least a row
the curtains get closed and the light goes out
and the street becomes such a quiet almost deserted place to be
everybody is going to sleep as tomorrow is the beginning of the working week
To snuggle with someone would be a nice change
to see my crush could cause me some pain
but mostly comfort to see her smile once more
and talk and laugh and just be as normal as we can
I never meant to hurt myself with all these feelings
I didn't think it would last this long truth be told
the evenings seem much more relaxed of late
and I like that
tears were aplenty though this weekend
the concept of change does continue to shock me
to seep on in and drown me with its fear and loneliness
Now we wait
we cant do anything else now
we cant make it be or stop it from being
we cant make the feelings go or appear in her heart
see I am just human also
needs and wants surround me too
smiles and tears appear on my face also
till the day I have it, I won't take this for granted
I shall try my best to enjoy it with or without you.
Shadows
weird cuz you're arent there
such a long time to like you
to like somebody
to work with them
and to see it all just play out, like your favourite DVD
like a gunshot this friday it all just changed
it all took on a new life and i couldnt breathe with it
not like a run up
just a "right we are off, we are leavin" the quick hug that i can still feel
the feelings so deep my heart hurt
the beats of my heart felt sore as each minute passed and then BOOM
nothing we could do
it had happened, it was over
just a memory or a thousand
she knew how i felt before she left
she told me she was flattered
and her conversations still ring in my ear
and im scared to play them out in case i lose them
like a drunken memory
so much i could say
See the thing is I am just left
the life plays out but i am in tatters
I really did have the strength of feeling and I cried out some tears
I dont know what I do next, as you were the one to help me
When i was stressed, you were there, you made it all go
and no its not a newbie that can take that
you and me
we had something
and honestly, it feels bearable on a sunday morning but to know this is it
that monday will arrive and ill walk on in
and you wont be there
you wont give me a smile
you wont give me a reason to try
a reason to say why
i like you so much
tears fall all over
lonely is my condition
you resolved all i had
but now im here alone and its too much
i think i may have loved you and now i cant sort it
life life life life life life
fragmented
such a long time to like you
to like somebody
to work with them
and to see it all just play out, like your favourite DVD
like a gunshot this friday it all just changed
it all took on a new life and i couldnt breathe with it
not like a run up
just a "right we are off, we are leavin" the quick hug that i can still feel
the feelings so deep my heart hurt
the beats of my heart felt sore as each minute passed and then BOOM
nothing we could do
it had happened, it was over
just a memory or a thousand
she knew how i felt before she left
she told me she was flattered
and her conversations still ring in my ear
and im scared to play them out in case i lose them
like a drunken memory
so much i could say
See the thing is I am just left
the life plays out but i am in tatters
I really did have the strength of feeling and I cried out some tears
I dont know what I do next, as you were the one to help me
When i was stressed, you were there, you made it all go
and no its not a newbie that can take that
you and me
we had something
and honestly, it feels bearable on a sunday morning but to know this is it
that monday will arrive and ill walk on in
and you wont be there
you wont give me a smile
you wont give me a reason to try
a reason to say why
i like you so much
tears fall all over
lonely is my condition
you resolved all i had
but now im here alone and its too much
i think i may have loved you and now i cant sort it
life life life life life life
fragmented
Wednesday 20 June 2012
Blank
I tell you I feel blank
I say it cuz it feels true
i feel like theres so much going round my head
and most of its about you
and you ask me why im sad at work
and why i dont laugh like i used to
and i reply with i dont know
i just always thought id have more to show
i tell you im tired
even though iv only just woke up
i tell you its getting late
and we can see the sun
I tell you I feel blank today
but thats not strictly true
as, as it happens i know exactly what to say to you and exactly what to do
see i do see past the walls that keep me locked away 5 days a week
and i can see myself being a little different in my future gains
the only problem is iv lost my map
and i cant remember the way
and im so used to these streets i keep walking around them
and im sick of them
and im sick of all of this
I tell you I feel blank
but really my heart is a thousand colours
a thousand colours all swirling and getting confusing and just you know turning
and we are all just staring at the world going passed outside the windows
and we see the rain fall, and the thunder break up the silence, and the sun burn us on our breaks, and the snow keep us locked away at night
and we all just carry on
we all get on
we all like each other
i have a crush
we all have a something that we need and want
Blank as to how I get mine... waiting for the coin to drop...
I say it cuz it feels true
i feel like theres so much going round my head
and most of its about you
and you ask me why im sad at work
and why i dont laugh like i used to
and i reply with i dont know
i just always thought id have more to show
i tell you im tired
even though iv only just woke up
i tell you its getting late
and we can see the sun
I tell you I feel blank today
but thats not strictly true
as, as it happens i know exactly what to say to you and exactly what to do
see i do see past the walls that keep me locked away 5 days a week
and i can see myself being a little different in my future gains
the only problem is iv lost my map
and i cant remember the way
and im so used to these streets i keep walking around them
and im sick of them
and im sick of all of this
I tell you I feel blank
but really my heart is a thousand colours
a thousand colours all swirling and getting confusing and just you know turning
and we are all just staring at the world going passed outside the windows
and we see the rain fall, and the thunder break up the silence, and the sun burn us on our breaks, and the snow keep us locked away at night
and we all just carry on
we all get on
we all like each other
i have a crush
we all have a something that we need and want
Blank as to how I get mine... waiting for the coin to drop...
Monday 18 June 2012
Will You? It's ALL about the Rhyme n Ting!!
just shut up and listen a second
do not make a sound as i start to explain
please would you stop disrupting me, you are stuffing up my flow
please just listen would you
what i have to say is for all of you
what im trying to explain is important
oh come on now, just hold off your words
i cant hear myself think any more
i know i have a lot to get off of my chest
i know if i dont i might just accept
that maybe you lot just wont ever really hear me
that i could be screaming from the rooftops and you wont even see me
that i could be shouting at the top of my lungs till my voice got lost in the atmosphere
that i could beg and plead with you just to lend your ear
that i may have to just give in and keep it all inside
that when you are all talking away at each other i am dying inside
that i am crying alone at night
that i dont have a clue or a direction in sight
that i just struggle each day of my life
that i dont try to bring you down or tell you right
i know that im asking you over and over
and i know that you have to say things to me too
but now that i finally have you all sat quietly
i go to speak my thoughts but suddenly i dont have a clue
do not make a sound as i start to explain
please would you stop disrupting me, you are stuffing up my flow
please just listen would you
what i have to say is for all of you
what im trying to explain is important
oh come on now, just hold off your words
i cant hear myself think any more
i know i have a lot to get off of my chest
i know if i dont i might just accept
that maybe you lot just wont ever really hear me
that i could be screaming from the rooftops and you wont even see me
that i could be shouting at the top of my lungs till my voice got lost in the atmosphere
that i could beg and plead with you just to lend your ear
that i may have to just give in and keep it all inside
that when you are all talking away at each other i am dying inside
that i am crying alone at night
that i dont have a clue or a direction in sight
that i just struggle each day of my life
that i dont try to bring you down or tell you right
i know that im asking you over and over
and i know that you have to say things to me too
but now that i finally have you all sat quietly
i go to speak my thoughts but suddenly i dont have a clue
Saturday 16 June 2012
A Moment
Take a moment to hear me, before you run out on me
take a moment to listen to how I feel too
take a moment to hear how it all fell apart
take a moment to see me
see me i ask, as i cry out all we had
watch me, i say as i struggle to control it all
don't just leave me tonight i beg
as i contemplate being here alone
take a moment i plead as you start to walk towards the door
just a minute please, i need to explain it to you more
packed bags in anger, clothes being flung all over
our bedroom a state as you lose your temper
our picture shattered on the floor
not anything to hold on to any more
you just wont take this time to hear it at all
you just scream at me as you start to explode
your tears being spat as you shout at me some more
we both cant help what has happened
we both cant slow it down to try and save us
take a moment i say but the door has been slammed shut
and i am left in this house, i am left in this chaos
i am left to pick up the pieces we both scattered all over the floor
not anything to save, not anything to savour, not anything at all
take a moment
take a moment to think it all through before you just speak it
take a second to think about what will happen once the news is dropped
a moment
is sometimes too much to ask for
too much to request
too much to expect
a moment, is sometimes just too long.
take a moment to listen to how I feel too
take a moment to hear how it all fell apart
take a moment to see me
see me i ask, as i cry out all we had
watch me, i say as i struggle to control it all
don't just leave me tonight i beg
as i contemplate being here alone
take a moment i plead as you start to walk towards the door
just a minute please, i need to explain it to you more
packed bags in anger, clothes being flung all over
our bedroom a state as you lose your temper
our picture shattered on the floor
not anything to hold on to any more
you just wont take this time to hear it at all
you just scream at me as you start to explode
your tears being spat as you shout at me some more
we both cant help what has happened
we both cant slow it down to try and save us
take a moment i say but the door has been slammed shut
and i am left in this house, i am left in this chaos
i am left to pick up the pieces we both scattered all over the floor
not anything to save, not anything to savour, not anything at all
take a moment
take a moment to think it all through before you just speak it
take a second to think about what will happen once the news is dropped
a moment
is sometimes too much to ask for
too much to request
too much to expect
a moment, is sometimes just too long.
Thursday 14 June 2012
We Are Just Stars
floating around
direction-less most the time
bumping into things
forgetting the reasons and whys
sprinkled out all over the sheet that covers our lives
in the huge black sky
rain falling oh so much right now
not having a clue what to do
twinkling in peoples eyes as they pass in streets
searching out and finding all that you need to know
glistening and seeing which is brightest
each important no winners or losers
beauty is not just skin deep and we all should learn this
We are just stars
we are all who we are
we are all as free as we want to be
we are just stars
direction-less most the time
bumping into things
forgetting the reasons and whys
sprinkled out all over the sheet that covers our lives
in the huge black sky
rain falling oh so much right now
not having a clue what to do
twinkling in peoples eyes as they pass in streets
searching out and finding all that you need to know
glistening and seeing which is brightest
each important no winners or losers
beauty is not just skin deep and we all should learn this
We are just stars
we are all who we are
we are all as free as we want to be
we are just stars
Monday 4 June 2012
A Toast
I can see it now
the house is modern, the grass is neat out the front,
just an ordinary street
all you can hear are the birds
all you can feel is happiness
fluffy clouds in the sky
life is just as it should be
I can see my girlfriend, in the garden playing with our child
the cats running around their feet
laughter and giggling
I walk towards my front door and it fills me with such a feeling of happy
I am so happy to have it
I have returned from a day at work in a job that I love
A job I have wanted all my life
I am in love with the girl of my dreams
We have a healthy child and I'm so happy to be alive
To want things in life is a good thing
to dream about the days you want to see is just lucky
imagination is the key to finding out what you want
A toast to life
A toast to knowing that all is what you want it to be if you make it be
Dreaming, seeing, believing and having faith - all that I have
=) Happy Bank Holiday and Jubilee Day!
-x-
the house is modern, the grass is neat out the front,
just an ordinary street
all you can hear are the birds
all you can feel is happiness
fluffy clouds in the sky
life is just as it should be
I can see my girlfriend, in the garden playing with our child
the cats running around their feet
laughter and giggling
I walk towards my front door and it fills me with such a feeling of happy
I am so happy to have it
I have returned from a day at work in a job that I love
A job I have wanted all my life
I am in love with the girl of my dreams
We have a healthy child and I'm so happy to be alive
To want things in life is a good thing
to dream about the days you want to see is just lucky
imagination is the key to finding out what you want
A toast to life
A toast to knowing that all is what you want it to be if you make it be
Dreaming, seeing, believing and having faith - all that I have
=) Happy Bank Holiday and Jubilee Day!
-x-
Sunday 3 June 2012
Yesterdays News
Gone are the days of younger
when it all just seemed so much slower
when you would sit in lessons and wonder, why the time crept passed so shyly.
Sometimes it will hit me hard, like a slap around my face
bringing with it the sudden pain and then Ill remain in this for a long time.
I don't want you again though, if I am truthful about it, I don't want the old same mundane
I want the new knocks me flying takes my breath away times
You know, like when you are with somebody new and its all a game
A game you always win, a game you never get bored of, that is until the game ends...
Weekends fly by so much faster than I can remember
Age seems to fall into one big ball of 1 thing and its madness
I don't seem to see how quickly it goes
people are in our lives for mere seconds and then they are gone
just that second of eye contact, the glisten in their eyes, the smile on their face
the swapping telephone numbers, the promising to call, the texting the flirting, the wanting it all
the realising it has already ended, it ended when I walked away, when there was no lingering farewell kiss
just the whispered goodbye, just the hope in our eyes that, that wont be the last time
The always wanting the same old, but realising now its not meant to be
it was not me back then,
I wasn't filled with glee or happiness just wanting the more and not getting it.
So not letting it get me
Yesterdays news
it can be so predictable as we all know the end
we all see what happens next and where it leads us
down dark paths, winding streets, flickering lamps in the blistering rain
the wind blowing away the day that's just ending
the moon is out and big and bright and it glistens in the night sky as we all go to sleep
to dream about the days that have been and gone
about the people we long to see again
one day we say as we drift off into our deep sleep, our winding dreams, our wishes and longing
us remembering being young and those people who no longer say good bye to us being there
grandparents that were once such celebrities in our eyes
the tears that fell and drowned us all when they left us
the spinning world that just continues
the morning sun creeping through our curtains
the birds singing the tunes we all know so well
the getting up and ready and just carrying on
working, learning, earning, mourning, missing, grieving, loving, wanting, needing, waiting, wishing, seeing, feeling, being, living, happy
yesterdays news is something we all see
trying not to be
too sad when it leaves
when the night ends
pleading with time to stop for us
praying to have one more moment with these people
wishing that you could turn it all around
seeing it all disappear
the night becomes a cloud above our heads
Accepting it all just happens
we are all to move on
you cant look backwards much longer
you miss out on all that's today otherwise
Gay Pride was amazing
Laughs were aplenty
Memories are etched in deep into my beating heart
Next stop...
My Adventure - Germany.... Planning for my future
creating the now
leaving the before
and looking forward to the after
x
when it all just seemed so much slower
when you would sit in lessons and wonder, why the time crept passed so shyly.
Sometimes it will hit me hard, like a slap around my face
bringing with it the sudden pain and then Ill remain in this for a long time.
I don't want you again though, if I am truthful about it, I don't want the old same mundane
I want the new knocks me flying takes my breath away times
You know, like when you are with somebody new and its all a game
A game you always win, a game you never get bored of, that is until the game ends...
Weekends fly by so much faster than I can remember
Age seems to fall into one big ball of 1 thing and its madness
I don't seem to see how quickly it goes
people are in our lives for mere seconds and then they are gone
just that second of eye contact, the glisten in their eyes, the smile on their face
the swapping telephone numbers, the promising to call, the texting the flirting, the wanting it all
the realising it has already ended, it ended when I walked away, when there was no lingering farewell kiss
just the whispered goodbye, just the hope in our eyes that, that wont be the last time
The always wanting the same old, but realising now its not meant to be
it was not me back then,
I wasn't filled with glee or happiness just wanting the more and not getting it.
So not letting it get me
Yesterdays news
it can be so predictable as we all know the end
we all see what happens next and where it leads us
down dark paths, winding streets, flickering lamps in the blistering rain
the wind blowing away the day that's just ending
the moon is out and big and bright and it glistens in the night sky as we all go to sleep
to dream about the days that have been and gone
about the people we long to see again
one day we say as we drift off into our deep sleep, our winding dreams, our wishes and longing
us remembering being young and those people who no longer say good bye to us being there
grandparents that were once such celebrities in our eyes
the tears that fell and drowned us all when they left us
the spinning world that just continues
the morning sun creeping through our curtains
the birds singing the tunes we all know so well
the getting up and ready and just carrying on
working, learning, earning, mourning, missing, grieving, loving, wanting, needing, waiting, wishing, seeing, feeling, being, living, happy
yesterdays news is something we all see
trying not to be
too sad when it leaves
when the night ends
pleading with time to stop for us
praying to have one more moment with these people
wishing that you could turn it all around
seeing it all disappear
the night becomes a cloud above our heads
Accepting it all just happens
we are all to move on
you cant look backwards much longer
you miss out on all that's today otherwise
Gay Pride was amazing
Laughs were aplenty
Memories are etched in deep into my beating heart
Next stop...
My Adventure - Germany.... Planning for my future
creating the now
leaving the before
and looking forward to the after
x
Friday 1 June 2012
Electric
what I miss is what I had
when we first met that day
do your remember it
the butterflies
the wondering the 'omg she could be the one' thoughts
to feel how I did when we first spoke to each other would be a dream come true
when we first made contact it took me a moment to realise what was happening
when we first kissed I melted
the passion we shared I've not had since
the wanting and the need and the feelings were just so strong
fall deep
fell fast
electric
I don't wish to ever forget her you see
she was the key to me and how it can be
and should be
and will be and I cant wait to see
who it is she will be in my new journey
love is the best feeling in the world when its like that
the tears when we parted
the wanting each other all the time
the not too much but not too little
and just ever so right way of together
relationships are frickin amazing
people I have met have been frickin hot
some are unforgettable
some are missed a lot
slowly I wait for the one to catch my eye
I meet people everyday
tomorrow is pride and I am so excited
creating my 2nd memory of being a proud lesbian
and able to share the love and positive everybody else is there to breathe in
this is all
Electric Excitement
Favourite song right now - 'We Are Young' Fun feat Janelle Monae
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Now I know that I'm not
All that you got
I guess that I, I just thought
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
But our friends are back
So let's raise a glass
'Cause I found someone to carry me home
when we first met that day
do your remember it
the butterflies
the wondering the 'omg she could be the one' thoughts
to feel how I did when we first spoke to each other would be a dream come true
when we first made contact it took me a moment to realise what was happening
when we first kissed I melted
the passion we shared I've not had since
the wanting and the need and the feelings were just so strong
fall deep
fell fast
electric
I don't wish to ever forget her you see
she was the key to me and how it can be
and should be
and will be and I cant wait to see
who it is she will be in my new journey
love is the best feeling in the world when its like that
the tears when we parted
the wanting each other all the time
the not too much but not too little
and just ever so right way of together
relationships are frickin amazing
people I have met have been frickin hot
some are unforgettable
some are missed a lot
slowly I wait for the one to catch my eye
I meet people everyday
tomorrow is pride and I am so excited
creating my 2nd memory of being a proud lesbian
and able to share the love and positive everybody else is there to breathe in
this is all
Electric Excitement
Favourite song right now - 'We Are Young' Fun feat Janelle Monae
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Now I know that I'm not
All that you got
I guess that I, I just thought
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
But our friends are back
So let's raise a glass
'Cause I found someone to carry me home
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