Dirty Plasters

How can you be disappointed in somebody, if you never expect anything?
how can we feel down if we have never been high?

How many times will I rework this same old stain? 
how many times will I ask this again?

Will I dream of my future and see any smiles?
will I rush about helplessly aimlessly? 

I try so hard to ignore the pressure
the one in which they all increase daily
the one that stares at me blankly and angrily and like I should just obey 
I cant be like you, I am not meant to, this is my journey, my life, my time
and yes, it may feel to you like I am wasting it, but I am not
You cant rush happiness!!



I find myself looking out of the window a lot -
trying to see past all that in front of me 
and I wish a lot that I hadn't turned corners in places I needn't or pushed past my own comfort to fit in ---- but we all do this from time to time
and the way in which we adapt to the decisions is what makes us, us 
and how we keep that individuality alive 


Sunshine and Snow 
Surprise and neglect
Stop the pressure, allow people to be who they wanna be
and you go your way
the only way to mess up is trying to fit peoples shoes 
and trying to think in a language you don't speak


Just relax and go with your flow
on your terms
and your timing

let love find us all and encapsulate us till eternity

Happy Easter !

Hidden Shadows

Moments that never leave you

encase your every movement 

thoughts of lonely are banished to the cellar for another day

the sun is bright and lighting up every room

bringing with it the warmth of a spring day

filling you with the smiles of better times ahead

Shadows that no one can see, however high the moon - the stars still burn bright in this sheet shielding us all

keeping us safe and together - like it should always be

when a moment hits you and you feel alone

look up to the stars and remember who has been before you and who is still here for you

How can we ever be alone when we have so much beauty surrounding us

keeping the smiles and fighting the tears

To take a deep breath and to hold it a moment 

to feel the warmth within us and remember it

and to cherish it and never forget it

How can we ever be alone with the hidden shadows 

about the place

whenever you need someone, know they are here

never leave your side

the spirits are here

and will never leave us... 

How can we ever be alone... when there is so much beauty surrounding us... 

Etched deep

waking up in the middle of the night and feeling it 
stretching and dressing and rushing out panicking - and feeling it
beneath my skin, behind my ribs, the reason I am breathing

days roll into weeks and before we know it months are flying
and the time just carries on ticking by in the background
and the lives just fall apart and make up and break up and end
and I am feeling it 

the words just dance in front of my face and you all have smiles and laughter
and I am seeing it 

etched in deep, like my tattoos
but no one can see them
and I rarely show them to myself


listening and worrying and the same old panics
the concerns they follow me around like my shadow
the drama like a bad smell
and I am fighting the pain and forcing the smiles
and picking myself up from the ground again

I handed in my notice
I told them I couldn't continue
etched deep is the loss of my own life
etched deep is the mourning of my wasted moments..

Waking up in the middle of the night, with the thoughts so strong on my mind
clogging up my head
my heart is choking... 
I loosen my fist, I feel the pressure ease off 
gently I accept it 
I don't wish it 
I don't need it
Etched deep...