People are all there on the calls feeding your broken shell with ideas and advice
Their true feelings come out at the bucket load
You are breathing in deeply and trying to manage the thoughts you have about it all yourself
They all want to help but how can they really
How can anyone really know the heart and mind of another
How does anyone really know how another’s heart breaks and how it heals?
The phone calls end, the dead tone is deafening like white noise
You are left in a room in a house which feels so cold
A house that had once sang to you your future plans and dreams
A house with pictures that cover walls of memories that you shared with someone who was supposed to be the everything you had always wanted
The house that is such a long way away
Away from the family that filled you with the love that you have searched for as a result
Your upbringing created the dream of true love
How do you build it up
Build it up from the ruin on the ground that lays in front of you
The rubble that clouds your sight
Blocks the reality
That maybe
Maybe
Your gut was always aware
The gut had been screaming so loud
For so long
That maybe you had not noticed that hum anymore
There is a beauty to this
I promise you
A beauty that far exceeds your current thoughts and minds filled nights
Your dreams and nightmares have no idea
They can not see this
For this is a bigger picture
The pixels far exceed the iOS on your devices
The picture is full of smiles and truth
Truth that might blur the current picture sat in frames in some half packed box in the attic
We are not always aware of the road below
We are too busy looking up
Too busy stressed from life, work life and living
The strain of reality living in what we have coined the global pandemic
We cannot be blamed for not having the clearest vision in history to see what may have been the brightest light
We might have mistaken it for the sun
We all know that is getting hotter with the climate
How the fcuk do we keep up with this
Trust me though
It is not a completed novel
This is just a new chapter
Same character
But having seen through 20 plus vision
Heart and mind on the window sill
Gut on a pedal stool
Trust me
You will and have already levelled up
Levelling up and building strength
Evolution at its best
Outgrown that picture
Shed the skin
When you are ready
Let it go
But don’t look back
There was never a thing you could do more
You tried every thing
And everyone knows that
