not a sound

not a whisper
not a noise at all
not a peek 
not a movement 
not a look that says too much
not a tear 
not a care 
not a fear 
not anything at all
not an us
not a pair
not like each other
nothing there
don't try and fix it
don't say its broken
don't get involved in anything
not happy here
not willing to share
the feelings inside as they have become too much to bare
not a sound 
not a whisper 
not a noise at all

I don't look backwards
I don't look forwards
I just stare
I don't complain
I don't lie 
I don't regret

I need to move onwards
to do so, shed the old stuff
let it all float away
wave goodbye
so sincere
not a pain at all

silently it will fall away
shrivel to become a nothing
take up no time of yours or mine
not be a nuisance or a problem
or an issue you all discuss
whisper about me or near me or of me
have an opinion you plead to share

not a sound I said
not a whisper to be heard 
not a noise at all
nothing is to ever be disclosed
don't share too much
never give it up
never give yourself away
just find that place that brings the smiles 
that brings the happiness
that frees your trapped heart
and live it
even if it means leaving
leaving what you have
with risk comes rewards...
My Nan told me that... 

away'

sail away don't say a word
pick up the pace and never be heard
forget all your promises and tell me no lies
and just sail away and don't say goodbye

leave me on this morning before the sun shows its face
take all your things don't leave me a thread
take all you gave to me, presents and love
and wrap it all up, snug as a bug

don't keep our memories stored in your mind
don't let the tears catch you at night
don't stroke the bed on the side i would lie
don't smell my perfume, just let it all hide

away, away, for that's the only way
we cant get it back so don't let it just stay
in the moment, in this day, not a word, not a stray
just two people, who faded away
sail away
don't say a word
leave silently into the night and do not be heard
don't let me see your eyes as you tell me
just sneak out, take it all and never look back... 

This is how it will stay

If you don't start throwing away
the self that you carry around with you
the one you left so long ago

This is how it will be
if you will not open your eyes and see
that if you continue, your heart will stop beating
and alone in a room you will stay


This is not the way
the route you have taken has got blurred
and you keep walking over the trodden grounds


Please don't just sit here and accept it
as you type it all out and hear it
as you tuck yourself in later alone in your palace that no one can come into
the spell that you put yourself in
when you tell yourself that you're happy
when you pretend the tears are hormonal
when you cried yourself to sleep


This is how it will stay
if you don't brush the cobwebs away
the ones surrounding your social
and the ones surrounding your belief
the belief in yourself to get what you want and deserve
to meet the one and to fall head over heels
to sit in a restaurant with your girlfriend and smile

To look outside and see the sun, not the rain
to feel the breeze not the chill
to see the smiles not the heartache
to express your desire
to express yourself
to be who you are
regardless of anyone else

This is how it will stay, how it will be, how everyone will see you
if you do not change it
its that easy, just take the first steps of courage
and the rest will follow...



Believe in yourselves, - You are all that you have. ONE LIFE 

At night we sleep

Not really a thing we think of 
but to sleep, to float off into our little worlds
to spiral and entwine in our fears and our lusts
to stretch out the whole night with snippets of goings on
troubled minds meeting in streets and waking up in sweats 


at night we sleep, 
we fall so deep into our minds we forget we are here
we soothe our souls with the mixes of moments and trials
some we never remember, like they were never even there
some torment us for days, filling our minds with wanderings of whys and oh no's 

to wake up bolt right, panicking 
or wish the alarm had never snatched you from that dream
to just be


not a sound, not a careless noise 
sometimes a tears rolls
sometimes you think its real
and sometimes they come true
and sometimes at night we just sleep
uninterrupted utopia
off in the clouds
Zzzz 

Good night 

Thought I had it...

out of breath, screeching to a halt
trainers all scuffed and laces out
scared to look behind me but know that I must
to know that I am shot of her and all that past 
I clean the smudges from my glasses and fix up my top
tucking it back into my skinny jeans and thinking OMG

I lean against the cold brick wall, that's still wet from the rain
I bend down slowly to tuck in my laces to stop me falling again
I stand up and prepare myself for what could be
just behind me, all around me

As I move slowly trying to hold my breath in fear
I feel a tap on my shoulder
OMG she's found me
I brace myself for the inevitable and pray silently that this cannot be

But I'm out of luck
having been on the run for so long
I have to now realise the truth
let it storm the surroundings and drag up all it can
like a twister or a tornado
with me in the spiral

She reaches out and touches my cheek
catching the tears rolling down my face
she whispers ever so silently, I am surprised I can even hear
the words soothe all of my pain and with it they take all the shame
they wrap me up warm and protect me 
my eyes catch glimpse of what she looks like
the guardian angel who followed me
like my personal shadow 
my head moves round slowly, worlds spinning
wow, I think to myself, as I catch my breath
this was not who I expected at all
for who she is, knocks me for six,
for who she is, is me