Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

I never started this blog with the intention of filling it with deep (in some regards) depressing thoughts, this is just the way it went..
It happens every so often in ones life, that moment of clarity.. When you do see the life as it is and not as the bubble you float around in... The real time is there in front of you and you then realise there is a chance you may have fucked up- royally!!!
Today, this week and tonight I realised I may have misjudged certain people, which is a shame, as I am sure given the time again, I may have changed it... but yeah no point thinking that way... changing the impossible
Basically, I have been mates with this one person, and I had feelings for him, and it grew and grew... Others came into my life, I would have my crushes on people and that would be fun and exciting until it burnt out, like the lustful ones always do and I would be sat thinking of this one person again.
I did have somebody recently fling themselves on to my life and it was dead fun because it was them after me and its nice to be chased now and then in life isn't it... Anyway I fucked that up... Literally crumbled that right up.... 
I finally decide after 7months of knowing this guy pretty darn well, that I would be honest about it, as although jokes and that happened - it didn't seem to be going anywhere.... && that's where the whole MISTAKE appears, as I was so utterly misjudging it... && I was left a little bruised, emotionally and now I don't think that can be repaired and to be honest, reckon its served its purpose now... 
I now need to be in the same head space I was this time a year ago, I wasn't working - which I am now, and I was living with my parents - which I'm not now, and I was unhappy in most areas... 
This year of 2012, has already thrown its shit at me from all sides, but I have managed to still continue, so I will hope the weather does not prevent me too much - (as they reckon its going to SNOW) - from getting back into the gym  - which has always been a great help for me, peaceful even though I'd be listening to my IPOD loudly. I work so many hours a week, I never feel I have my own time... But now I will make it a priority, to do as I want.
When I was in Uni I would always have MY days, go for coffee, see my mates, go out drinking, bit of retail.. I would make sure I had that... 
I promised myself I would sort ME this year... So much changes in our lives and sometimes it can drag you under like a wave in the sea... The trick is to adjust and change as you go... Keep things simple, let life just go with the flow... 
This weekend will be a good time to reflect and prepare for ME that needs her time to be... 


Thanks for letting me offload this tonight... With the help of Adele.... Always helps me flow with my thoughts... 


Take Care