So, I watch it all disappear
Slow mo, repeated till the dvd scratches in my head
3 years of the same behaviour, same conversations, more exciting but still nowhere closer
Scared I think of letting it all go away,
Disappear in to the distance, because that will mean I lose my excuse...
My excuse, the point I mentioned here before...
Thinking it is all so normal, that what I have with this person is normal
How can it possibly be and how can it possibly ever be
Do I think I can lie to myself?
Successfully and convince myself ?
Don't be daft I think to myself as I type this,
I should surely know deep down it was all for her attention
Maybe I can hope there are some kind of feelings in there for me
But lets as I say, NOT lie to myself
If I was to leave the room now,
Say you were sat in here too
I was to get up and take myself and life with me
Would you want to stop me
Would you want to grab my arm and give it one last chance
Or wouldn't you even look up
If I was to say to you I have plans to leave this country
To pack up save up and to leave for new horizons
That I would be leaving the world of social networking and all that, that entails
Would you wish me well
Would you ask me to stay
Would you want to keep in my life
Would I ever even ask you these things
Would I be strong enough to hear your answer without crumbling
Seeing the sunshine these past few days has just brightened it all
I know you may not think that having read the above - but it has
But not only that, it has allowed me to think deeper and further into the future
To decide what I want and when and with who
Little steps - make a huge difference
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