&&& to think you could of had it all

Just an observation
not a question, not a regret not a pain
Just an observation
not something I think oh dear, shouldn't have let that one slip away
between my fingers, like silk and realising too late
too late, it has gone it slipped away and it is now the past
the past it's there behind you
you can only see it 
you can only become the witness of the played out already written script
drama maybe, tragedy maybe, love story maybe


Just an observation 
not a pain, not something that brings the tears again
Just an observation 
how many more times
how many more times do I have to justify myself to you
how many more times do I have to repeat myself to you too


I just said it is JUST an observation
that when I read my love letters, that person did oh so much care 
care so much it hurt a little to read it
OH SHIT, I thought I'd said an observation


OK OK,
so I was looking back and I saw it
I saw it and it was a tragedy
it ended with me sat alone in a room of familiar surroundings
with the people I love by my side
with them all whispering to themselves about how they were worried about me
how they didn't know what to say or what to think or what the fuck to do with me
they were almost looking at me like I was in a box
like I was something they'd just stumbled upon in some museum for heartbreak
like they all feel they've been there
like they want to get out their scars and be like look that's when I was like YOU


Correction, never me 
you can never of been ME
for I am ME and I am the only one
Yes ok, similar feelings maybe, similar experiences ok
BUT TO BE ME?
No
Just an observation
I peered on inside 
and I saw me and I saw you all and I thought wow
so far I have come
so far I have come 
so far I have come




May as well carry on
carry on carrying on
nothing else to do
nothing else to watch
nothing else to drag back up
just carry on carrying on


&&& to think you could of had it all?
No is the answer to that one
No not all just some and still some left




Sometimes we should all peer on inside our little display
check out the things we forget
forget have even happened
and remember we have achieved oh so much
but not enough
still more
still more
always more




.............................................................................. signing off x