Finding the words..

BANKSY.

Good evening.

I wasn't sure about writing this blog, but I cant get into the sleep mode just now and I really think it would help me if I got it all down. As you may or may not know, I was in a relationship when I started this blog, and now, very recently in fact that came to an end. I can't say it was my decision, because that would be a lie. 

I have spent the last few days walking through my day to day in a mad state, mad at why? Mad at what, mad at every if and but... However, I always end on the same note, with the same thought, it is no more. 

I really never thought about how my blog would take shape or whether I would continue to fill its boxes once I started, but I must say, I was grateful to have signed in tonight, my first entry has spoken so much sense to me, I already feel better than I did an hour ago. 

So what do I do now, I often hear my mind ask, and my heart, with its repair work under-way, struggling to let go of that amazing adventure stubbornly backs away... It is agony, truth be told... I can't lie on such an honest blog, it is painful... I was in love and now its gone and I am left feeling like an empty shelf in a once loved family home... random metaphor haha but yes...

I do not wish to continue in the wallow of heartbreak but instead to try my best at fixing the mess I have emotionally in front of me.... 

To take action, as my life is flying past at a rate and I am letting it... I have a new job :) It is the rock in my independent life right now.. I would literally be messy without it right now, it gives me 9 hours a day away from the bustling madness that is living with your parents, surrounded by happy couples to do something I believe in and get paid for it. :) I also have a gym within yards of my house, which I am now avidly attending as it seems to be the only thing to vent on right now... 

How long does it take to completely pick yourself up? My advice below was good, but I did miss out time frames, so I figure, just ride it out--- no other option... I have been lucky to experience such a time, with an individual I am very fond of even now... but life to me is a path, no reversing in this game... just keep on plodding through it, the thick of it will pass and it will start to shine for me again... bright like the sunshine (in any place but the UK)... 

I know it is a long one tonight but I figured, why the hell not?! Its a Tuesday and this is how I roll... 

Keep busy, keep on top of it all now... It was fun... 

TC

-x-