Free-fall

I just sit there with the words of songs smashing my heart 
taking away the walls of steel i rebuilt years ago
trains pass me by lights on - i feel a stillness as I watch them go out of sight
free-falling as I catch my breath
landing, smashing skin on the ground
seeing the pain, leak onto the floor
as it feels like a release
like a calm
like a moment of peace


Seeing that it has finally snapped and I am here with what is left
I am searching for all the pieces that are missing
the puzzle seems so much smaller
but I hear that this is all I need
why carry the baggage if its over
if it has no relevance whatsoever

Free-fall and space and nothing else to stop the feeling of pure excitement
the not knowing the end or the next page
like a book, I am so eager to finish
but realising that it can end at any time
and I spend too much time on pages
reading them over and over
not remembering that, that is the time that has been spent
and what I have now is running out
and theres just too much thinking and too much worrying and too much crying and too much comparing
and then its a new day, new week, a year has gone by
and I am still in the same position 
just sitting there - watching trains pass me by
the day darken into night
the life slip away
the memories just on replay
the tears on repeat
the life passing by 
beat
beat
beat
the book is almost over 
or the book has just begun....


its your choice...