searching for spares

I am searching for spares
searching for spares because I have ran out
ran out of it and I am quite worried I won't last much longer
so I am searching long and hard and trying to remember
remember where I put the spares

and now I am panicking as I don't recall keeping any spares
keeping any spares would be the solution if I ever thought I'd lose it to start with
you keep reading and keep watching and you must be wondering
wondering what is the spares I am searching for
what are the spares that I'm frantically trashing my house for
moving everything and anything looking high and low and high some more
tears rolling down my cheeks as the positivity wears thin
as I realise it is not something I will find
as it is not something I had to start with
the spares are just ones figment of imagination and they won't just appear before me now as I will them to

see it would have been a perfect way to save myself if these spares did so much as exist right now
if I could just reach out and restock myself and mind
if I could just transport myself back to fully charged and be done with it
but the truth is, its been several years now
several months of which I have been running on empty
and tonight and more importantly this year I realised it was really wearing thin
it was starting to hurt and burn inside
like rubber tyres on a road
there was not a spare I could just fix up and look sharp in
it was just running its course and now I am to accept it for what it is
or be done with it, pat myself on the back and start searching for the new direction

the spares were never there
maybe I can find one last layer of worn out limb to rejuvenate my mind and body
but deep down accept it has come to an end
the car will not roll on for much longer
there are no more hills to drive down
the weather is changing and the wind can't blow me along anymore

the answer and spare for what I am searching for is not something I will disclose tonight
but something I will leave for you to ponder
leave for you to ponder and think about your own spare you create

sometimes if you believe and have faith it will lead you into the direction you wish to walk in

if you lose belief and/or faith you will be on your own - in the dark with no sunlight to lead you home..

count your blessings is what an interesting friend of mine said this evening... so I will

goodnight xxx