I Have Been Here Before..

I have been here before, same place, same space, same facial expression
I have felt this before, the pain, the lust, the confusion
I have fought with my own heart and mind and gut
and I have told myself I would learn

I have seen this look before, the eyes can never lie
I have felt my cheeks burn when I think of what I feel
I have so many times been here and there and wherever 
But I told myself I would learn 


I am just sat and I am thinking and my mind is daydreaming and my heart is bleeding
and I am struggling and I am fighting and I am winning and I have lost
and I hear the lessons and the please dont's' and the be careful's and the too lates'
and the lessons and the lessons and the lessons and the lessons
and I am so angry as I see myself at this time 
and I am so tired of being the same old person and same old mistakes

But I told myself I would learn, the lessons - the fricking lessons 


I sit in a calm room, with the evening drawing in through the curtains and the wind howling round the houses, and the cars driving and the day ending
and I can feel the calmness creeping over me, diminishing the panic and the stresses
and just wrapping me up and helping me cope 
and making me see it - removing the blurs
and I am hearing the lessons, and seeing the mistakes and watching the times roll out before me
and I see the tears and I see the stresses and I see myself saying never again
and I watch it over and I see the loss and feel the grief and whisper the feelings
and I feel it sink in and the heart calms and the room brightens and the day is starting 
The sun has rose and the birds are singing and I am smiling and I am living
and I am seeing and feeling and being and believing.


I have been here before, same place, same space, same facial expression
I have felt this before, the pain, the lust, the confusion
I have fought with my own heart and mind and gut
and I have told myself I would learn... Maybe this time I will..