Don't Watch Me

look straight through me, don't let my words linger on your lips
don't let my appearance fix itself to your memory- taking away all you knew before
don't get me like i get you
let me be the one you never understand
let me be the one that confuses you so much it angers you
let me be that girl that just bugs you because you never know what i am thinking...
N when for that short moment you think you have figured me out, I change direction and lose you again

please, don't watch me I ask with an almost plead in my voice
as I lose that strength you all say I have and you see my eyes without the wall that is always closing up around me
when you see my bare thoughts pour out of my heart and you struggle to catch it as it flows on through
and you try desperately to help me and to try and understand me and to "get me"
to admit defeat on your part kills you


I don't need a shoulder I need a body, that encases itself around me and holds me tight
I need a voice that soothes my soul so much I feel like I'm floating through the sky
I need someone to make me feel stronger than anybody you've ever met
I look for that person to not only save me, but to bring me back to life
and together we fight the world head on, strong and united, and in such a deep trance called love
so that I have this feeling of complete acceptance of all my failings and wrong turns and I stand there tall and strong and built for purpose....

But don't apply as a whim, this shit is real, you don't get me like I get you
I see it before you feel it and we all know its true
I don't feel defeated or weak in anyway, just a little lost right now, I need someone to show me the way...

Not in huge trouble with how I feel, just a little tired of the same old reel
like a drawn out film, that just never ends...
I wish to stop filming and edit it from today.. If I may