Closet talk

Today I could have screamed it
Got sent out the room for the noise
As I watched and listened it upset me
I could and would never feel like they did
I sometimes felt like I'd lost a game
One I had stuck at for years and years
All the effort, all the tears, the dark moments and memories
All for nothing
I couldn't change it
The trying didn't change anything
Not a damn thing

They are all laughing
Passing around opinions trying to involve me
I cant do it
I don't feel it
They can't see it
And I can't say
It's too hard
Can't un say words
This is real time
Can't undo
So I smile
I laugh along
I talk like I get it too
Feel it too
But I don't
I can't
I never will
I never did
I'm ok with it
But are they?
Should I say?
Would it be worth the risk?