Final sentence was passed
I felt nothing anymore
I feel it had been beaten out of me years ago
I looked directly into her eyes
I saw her, just as I'd always pictured
All those years fantasising about her
And now in front of me
Nothing
Just familiarity
I actually surprise myself
I want it to hurt me
I want to cry all night
But I feel nothing
I feel altered
I feel like somebody else
Do I get it
Am I pinching myself
Am I awake
What is wrong with me
The mirror is my face
My eyes
My feelings
I am just over it
All thinking
All this agonising
All this wanting
And now I am faced with it
Real and actually happening
Just friendship
Should I be happy
Should I be sad
All I ever created was just that
Fictional
I always say I don't like fiction
Yet I am here and breathing it in
If all I ever adored and loved has crumbled
What does that mean?
All I have wanted is in someone else
Well I wish to meet her
She will blow my mind if better than a 10yr fantasy
Seriously
Bring her on - I can't wait to meet her
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