Better late than never

Watch me from a car on the street outside my house
Turn off your engine and breathe in my style
Forget about where you should be and watch me
Watch me as I live like I'm alone
Like no one has seen the sadness

I will get ready for a night out
One I have planned for most the year
The sun is out and my spirits are so high
I couldn't ask for anymore

I wasn't meant to be in this story
I feel like I have messed up my destiny
Nothing I believed in exists
I'm not saddened or angry I'm just disappointed
I feel lost, the walls are too white, nothing looks lived in anymore
Just blank it out
Smudge out the personalities and paint them all grey
Don't smile and never love

Worry about the way you look and the way you feel and the way people see you
Don't relax and always breathe in when you're around people
Don't ever let a single tear fall, tilt your head back and push the emotions back into that brimming heart and mind of yours with the creative river bursting at the edges
Praying to escape, to stand at the top of the world and shout out the truth

Calm yourself dear,  don't let on that you find this world suffocating at times
That you wish people worked out for fitness and not vanity
Then when you looked at another you all just saw beauty and not a clothes size or an envious undertone
Just beauty

Watch me from a car on the street outside my house
Look hard enough and you will see the fear as I live each day
As the truth now envelops me and protects me and sometimes I wish you all knew
Knew that I am ok with how it all ended up
I guess it was all a little late
And old faces are back and unchanged
But on oath I will just add
That yes I do have regrets
I regret that  I wasn't enough to accept myself
That I felt trapped and lost for too long
But now is my time
Better late than never
Better late than never