Lost

I don't know how to feel
My life is never like anyone else's
Love, is hard for me
But any other will find it easy
I don't know how to be
My family have never struggled
But I have my guard up
And although time never helps it
Sometimes I think it will
And although constant does my head in
Distance makes things worse
I find it hard to relax
I struggle to let things fall as they may
I am not a last minute spontaneous being so that could never be me
I need to understand everything
Categorise and analyse
Until I can't switch it off
And I over think
And I put myself off things and I fall out of love and life and lust
Then I find myself alone once more
Staring at the door that was just slammed shut
Because I couldn't change and I couldn't relax
and they got tiresome and they got angry and they tried to change me and that just pushed me
Pushed me away
Pushed me over the edge
Over the brink of my fears and worries
I don't know how to feel
My life is never like anyone else's
Love, is hard for me
But any other will find it easy

I look to faith to hope one day
I find my way
And I find it easy