What Next?

I didnt get up today
I heard my alarm screaming at the tops of its lungs and I just shut it off and turned over
I didn't want to wake up
I wanted to fall into dreams forever
For compared with now, they were better
I felt the day push passed me and I knew people would be angry
But who cares anyway, they could never feel the way I feel
Not ever.

I didn't get up today
I couldn't face my reflection
I could feel my heart beating out of time and my thoughts crashing and the pulse getting faster and i was struggling.
It was killing me
All of these memories and doubts
All these hurtful surroundings
All forcing their way in to swamp me
To push me to my limit
To stretch me so thin I lose myself

So I stayed in bed
I convinced myself my life was a dream
One which i would wake up from
That the demons weren't real and the doubts were not there

Days passed me
It was becoming something even I couldn't cope with...
What next?