B Road

(not a reflection of my mood today - it is my 27th bday today and I am feeling great)


The room seemed empty now that the furniture was taken away 
the walls had the markings of our lives from the days that had gone 
pictures were piled high in boxes of our faces, from childhood to now
the time seemed to be such a small space - but years had been fitted in
neither of us had any words 
we all just kind of sat around wondering what to do 
overwhelmed with our own feelings
bursting with tears
it was a sad day
countless years spent growing and developing in such a castle of a surround
now just seemed so bare, empty and pretty dead
I walked to my old room - the box I had shut myself off to so often as a teenager
I heard the voices, the laughing, the crying, the slamming of doors, 
I remembered the hangovers and parties and birthdays and deaths
all just boxed up tight, gaffa taped shut
boxed high and above our wildest dreams
the garden became silent, the silence was deafening
no TV, no family table, no pets running around making a mockery, no hoover, no music, no showers or internet wires, no candles, or paintings or pictures of weddings, no ironing, no flowers, no bustling lives crashing in the morning, no rushing to work, no waking up late, no going to school, no window cleaner, or next door neighbour, or hangover cure, 
just a shell, the soul has ejected, the lives not forgotten just removed, the markings on the walls, the remembering it all, the trying so hard not to fight it
for we have to leave it, our key we should put down, the moments all brimming up in our faces, the excitement for new but upset for leaving behind the things we did love.
I shall still use the gym and I shall still walk past the place that I grew up to be 
the person I am now, shall lift up my head and full of strength, shall depart

Not much else to say but to close with this thought that all of these things eventually shall end
but I shan't forget, I shall always remember the little girl running up those stairs, choosing that room, and loving it
looking out of the window at what I thought was the whole world, 
it is funny cuz the other day, I sat just looking out like I used to and I realised what I had once thought was soo big... is not really... 

Thank you for reading. 

1995- 2014