Like a party full of guests a table full of glasses
Tell me what to clear away
Tell me what to get rid of
The place used to look so white and clean
These days it’s stained in a colour I cannot shift
A life that’s been and left pain all over the place
A life that was reeling happiness and potential is now struggling to breathe in the waves of the sea
Such a long time
Memories spilling over the sides
Continuously drowning my hopes and dreams with moments in time
Moments I cannot seem to shed
Shed so that I can re build
Telling everyone you met that you were a fraud
A fake it till you make it but fake it forever type person
Like you could never step out of place
That it must have been me
When it’s written all over your face
Etched in like a tattoo
You told me you were happy
You told me that we would be ok
You told me that it was forever
When I got the news you told me in sickness and in health
Cancer they said
As I stared into the blankness as my mind looked for the words
Cancer
In my breast
For a while
Surgery and treatment
The mat was pulled from below me
I could barely make eye contact
But you told me you would be there
As I say numbed like anaesthetic
You told me you would be there
I believed you
I trusted you
But you left me
You left me alone so much
I blamed myself for the C
I tried so hard to be attractive
So hard to be me
The me before this took over my body
Took over my health
Took over me
As the days fell
So did our relationship
Our wedding day memories became foggy
The promises we made on holidays
As we flew into new countries
As we decorated houses
As we created our life
Cancer just took it all
All your promises
All our plans and future wishes
I lay here
My mind searching through the years of moments
Moments of happiness and joy
Moments of heartbreak
Moments of triumph and achievement
Moments of despair
As we lay it to rest
Divorce on the horizon
All those stages of trying to create a unit
A unit that crumbled
A unit that died
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