Saturday 6 April 2024

Stop the whirlpool

How do I stop the flowing of agonising thoughts from spinning around my head?
Why do I carry such luggage around?
Where am I planning on staying?

I lay here and I still hit the wall with the complete unacceptable reality that has played out for me over 12months 
Even longer if I am honest 
What happened? When did I stumble on the hornets nest?
What did I do to end up here?

I had a marriage, I had my health, I was doing well at work 
We had found our forever home 
But that place saw the demise
The demise of my life as I knew it 
It all crumbled away like an old wooden shed 
It had been rotting for years
But I hadn’t seen it 
I barely visited it 
Didn’t take care of it
The paint was never going to cover up the damage that was spreading 

I cry tears of salt as I struggle with it all 
Stages of grief aren’t easy 

Such solace 
Such sadness 
Such an earthquake 
But this time, we didn’t survive … 

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