Who are you... Shadows lost in time

What are these shadows anyway
Who are they attached to
It's funny because everywhere I look, there they are

They are not interfering but just telling me, almost reminding me of their presence

I do not understand

I woke up today
Felt like a fuzzy feeling in my head
Like a hangover
Yet I had not drank in such a long time
Could not place the feelings
Then as I got up and dressed ready for the day ahead, left the house and walked to the train station
There it was
The shadow
Like it had followed me

I wondered as I stepped onto that train and found a seat
I thought deep about this presence of shading
Wondered why
Why was it with me
Now of all times
It had not been here a month or two ago
Not for the build up of change which threw itself on to my plate
Expecting me to swallow it down
Without chewing, choking it did not matter
Oh no, it was not here then

I would have given my right arm for a shadow then
A feeling of friendship
Having that independent ear
No loyalties
Just an ear to my woes

Weeks had been passing
Two at the most
And I was sat getting ready to return to the humdrum
Bags were being piled high with washing and memories were encased in my minds eye
My thoughts were sullen
That's the thing about holidays
Months of saving and over in a blink
But all so worth it
Worth the days spent educating the future
Educating lives to be good and compassionate
Educating myself

Tans are collected and thanked for
Well received and create the green eye on arrival back to the blighty

I know this shadow is with me, still
When will it ever attach to a person is something I will never answer nor shall I wish for
I will accept what I have
Know that it is there
Almost dream that it answers my thoughts and voices my feelings
I will ask that it stays
Stays close

I mean God only knows that I am the same for that shadow
That blip might need me to

Who knows...
Who ever will