My name

As you sit there uncomfortable in your own skin
Our names are called out
We all sit there nervously awaiting our decisions and try not to make eye contact
The room becomes a vacuum and I find it hard to breathe in
the rain is coming down so hard outside, like it's angry with the world today, today of all days
One by one the seats empty
The room becomes bare once more
And the off white walls become blinding
Not a shuffle
Don't even cough
Just stare hard into the carpet like you are having a staring contest
Don't even breathe loudly
Shit
I know it's my turn next
I can't relax
My heart is beating so fast I'm drowning on the blood in my veins
I can't calm down
Counting to 10 so fast, I don't hear any number I've said to myself
Shit
My name has been called
No backing out now