What a day today.... Rollercoaster

This song came on this morning as I stood, waiting for my bus, in what can only be described as Frickkkkkkin cold weather!!!

Surprised?? Of course not, it is the UK we are renown for it! :) 

Today was just one of those days, other than this and other songs popping on blowing me away with the lyrics- the whole OMG this song was written just for me - moments, but Work was stressful... I got upset twice.

I don't think now that I live alone and that I have my own space, I deal with things in the same way as I was so used to.

I have never been the quiet person, but I am sure by reading this, this is something you have come to realise- if not, there it is for you

I used to go home, when I lived in Liverpool and spend the first 10minutes filling my house mates in on my stress-filled day as I frantically cooked dinner and made my lunch for the next day, then I'd retire to my room and there I would stay until morning in most cases.

Then when I lived with my parents this yr, I was in an r'ship for the majority of it, so I would call her up and discuss the goings on of my day until she'd had enough..

It has been a while since I just blabbed all to my mum or brother or dad, but yeah on the odd occasion my sister will be filled in, over a 2 hour convo... we both have these necessary convos now and then, when we both have that spare second of life to think about it.

But I do think I changed a lot this year, I had become reliant on an individual and I needed to replace her when she was no longer present, but I think now its hit the end of the line... other than blabbing to my mate tonight after work, as we had a post- OMG that week was tough - drink, I don't have that many people in mind to bore... 

So tonight I came home, after my drink and I put my laptop on and I put the telly on and I ate food that I pretended constituted an evening meal.. and I didn't say a word.... Until now... and even now I am not speaking to anybody in particular... just myself in a strange way and anybody who reads it. 

I don't write this because I think its a problem, I don't think OMG I have no one to tell.. I just think, finally I don't need to blab it all to anyone who will listen.

There is still that person I tell things too, and without him I would prob's explode with emotions but yeah... 

Now I am not as open... Experiences make us wise up.. Reliance on anybody but yourself is one dangerous ass game!

One I don't wish to delve into again this year.

Binding time....