And so I’ve landed

Today I landed 

I landed somewhere I’d never landed before

The unfamiliarity felt familiar

I didn’t panic and I didn’t stutter

I found my route out and I type this from a seat on my last but one part of my journey

I spent all my life looking for the familiarity 

For the smile that made me feel safe and protected

I have smiled at the wrong people 

Those people abused me 

They used me and they spat me out

I have rebuilt my personalities and dissected the scars from the pools of wastage on the floor

But still I have them

Those scars might have faded now but they will remain there forever

Like a continuous reminder of battles I fought 

I might have been injured in them but I am still here

Not seen like a hero though 

I’m not on any tv show

I didn’t admit to the reality of those times 

I don’t even tell myself 

Smiles are easy to do 

But they don’t mean anything 

Look into the eyes

That is when you will see the real truth

For people can’t hide the truth in those

I had this way of watching people 

Years of befriending the enemy made me feel check 

Focus in and see what’s there

Not what I want to see

But the realness

You know that moment a bulb goes

Say a set of three lights and one goes pop

At first it’s like it’s gone dark

Even though there’s two left 

For that initial shock and that initial bang 

You could argue it’s black out 

But you adjust 

You get used to it

It may not be the same but it still kind of does the job

I mean 2s better than 1 right?