Sunday 18 October 2020

character building..

I received the message, couldn't tell you what I was doing that day really.. Feels a little surreal

I tried my best you know, pulled myself up like an old used coat hanger, it was all bent the wrong way but it kept me walking, I also kept scraping fingernails into the stairs, to keep me going... 

It snapped though 
Everything fell to the floor
Didn't know where to start
Heaps of just shit, everywhere 
Couldn't see the floor
Couldn't see the bottom

Couldn't stop the blurry eyes
Blurry lines
Tears that stained my day.. 
Day by day
Made a new stand 
Still looked twisted, metal stuck up

Days became weeks
It was like looking in a mirror with opaque lenses 
If I couldn't see it happening it meant it wasnt
But at night, when the sleep light went out 
I was left in the dark surrounded 
Truth
Pain

It just feels like a bizarre dream, mixed with unfortunate real life existence 
I can't get away from it but at the same time I am not looking to run away

I am facing it
I am living and breathing it
This is not a gossip column
I am not your entertainment 
Life has spun a fast one
Taken with it all we ever worked for

Next few weeks are just very much the same 
Yet my distraction will be closed
Lock down 'ain't got nufin on this' 

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