Don't you worry

Where do we start?
Take away the masks and unveil your inner soul
Make sure the spotlight covers all of you
That everyone has stopped talking and there phones are in their bags
That all their attention is on you
Then start

Take a deep breath and remember it's ok
This won't be filmed

Where do I start?
Is there even a beginning?
To me there only appears to be an incident followed by the backlash of horror shock and emotion
An incident that stands the hairs of my neck
An incident that brings with it pain and angst
Have you ever had that?
The audience are transfixed
They daren't utter a word
Back to me
The spotlight is warming
It makes me feel like I'm lying on the beach in the south of France
It makes me feel safe and warm
Without warning tears are rolling down my cheeks
I can't contemplate my own actions
It all feels fake
Like someone has made it up
If only

Back to it

Where do I start?
Is it depression? Am I alone?
I feel so warm with the love surrounding me surely, I could never be
No I'm not
I know that much

Onwards though I say
How does this affect me now and my future
It has shaken me up
Like a bottle of glitter
Jagged edges but pretty
Always pretty and youthful
Decoration to the plain walls of life
Necessary to make jokes
Cheer people up on downward spirals
Be there for all
Including myself
Especially myself
Proud but not too proud to admit defeat
Defeat, after all is only a lesson
And we spent long enough in school having those
Didn't do us any harm
In fact it paved our future
Made us who we are today
With intelligence
Intelligent enough to never do such nonsense again
Silly billy
Who is billy anyway.. poor billy, he can't always be silly
Raise a glass and remind yourself of achievement
Raise a glass to life and all it inhibits
All it has given me
Slightly hurt but able to stand back up and  continue
Slightly different path this time
Less stress
Less upset
More life and living