knowing which direction to take...

the decision cant ever be made by other people

you must learn to shut down your thoughts

letting go of the past is one of lifes biggest challenges

learning how to is one of the biggest achievements

controlling your own feelings is something everybody faces

knowing that a decision will lead to something good - feels great

knowing the wrong decision could lead to bad is just a risk we have to trust in

there is no way back once you choose

i know people who passed away and its so sad

some people who even chose to 

we all have our ideas

we all have our dreams

the trick is to ask people for guidance but choose your own route in the end

if you dont feel sure in your choice, go with it and see where it leads you

at least this way you have tried it and you can put it down to experience and a life lesson

people do walk away from your route

they take the exit and you have no choice but to continue down yours 

sometimes you change lanes, sometimes somebody else does

today i spent most my day sorting through my flat

i was getting bits and pieces ready for my IKEA delivery this tuesday

I was reading through old letters, love letters, penpals, ex -memorabilia and it was nice

it was nice because i sometimes think i forget 

i forget how much i have experienced and how many different paths ive been down

im so thankful to each and every one 

i sometimes think i miss these people 

i sometimes feel frightened of the corner coming up and what it might show me

but i also know that i trust my gut

i have done so well so far

the people have all been great

knowing which direction to take is always tricky

its just a game of luck really

but i do believe there is no wrong choice

they are all as they should be

hope you like the song.... 

felt it fit this blog entry quite well. 

thanks for reading x

Up In Flames

Evening
Don't worry, the title is not how I feel it is just the name of my fave song on Coldplay's new album - I adore the album and this track is so relaxing




I am feeling so happy these past few weeks... only bad has been over missing my family as my parents, sister and brother in law are in France until Sunday and I miss chatting to them whenever I want to... truth is they are all so busy with life it wouldn't make a huge amount of difference if they had been here all week.. if I really think about it.


But still... it is just how I am sometimes lol


I was just about to get off and go to bed but I had this thought cross my mind...


I needed to get it down to you... as a record of my findings and acceptance


"&& then you realise all this pain.... was for the smiles you have now.. it was all meant to be this way"


I was let down this evening.. for a reason you would all consider quite valid.. not the new guy in my life no (he is the reason I smile) - no this was somebody else.. and the thing is I could just allow it to go and fall away with the evening, but it is not the first time and it is something I struggle with... I am the kinda person to believe in people, and believe unless they completely prove me wrong to the point of tears and hurt, that they are genuinely nice people and dont mean to let me down continually


Although, speaking to my guy before I came to bed, he may have a point... this person may just not be bothered... 


Not nice no... but is it time I let it go? 
Let it blow away in the cold autumn night?

Hmm.. I don't know.. sleep on it yes? Always leave a decision to the morning.. things always seem better in the morning with a cup of Tetley's tea and mini Weetabix!


Good night people


On with the mad dreams I go... as to add, mine last night have been through my mind a few times today crashing into the walls of my conscious processes... of really old faces from before the days of Uni... what is the meaning of that??




"So its over, this time I know its gone, Salt water, tasted it too long..."


Amazing Lyrics.... COLDPLAY - MYLO XYLOTO