Not in the literal sense
Since that moment I opened the mail to the news I’ve not felt the same
Not a feeling but an existence that is entrenched in memory and utter disbelief
Can’t comprehend the reality that is ever so clear as it’s written in front of me in the doom scrolling of social media
Nothing I say can change it and I am yet to understand how unpredictable life is
And how ever I feel won’t make a blind bit of difference
To know that it was all taken away in a moment and that time was recorded for eternity
Written into the registers that store the lives gone by
Not with real sense of the person, but their name residence and age
And hers was too young
Too young to stop beating
This heart just beats away quietly in the background, we take it for granted
Casually keeping us alive with what appears to be effortless
And we just never know
Never know when our time is coming
So many films I have seen over years that try to portray this in real time
The utter devastation left behind as another heart stops, cold
All that promise
All that life just over
We can’t even hold that moment as they have already gone
All that we have are our memories
Swarming around us like frustrated flies in the sun
It still hurts and it still marinates
It’s soaking up all of my days
Trying to understand why
How at 18 again, another life just halts
Stopped in its tracks
My head and mind are just on repeat
Over and over
Disbelief and shock and sadness
Then repeat
Bright energy
Positive soul
Vibrant personality
Tomorrow is the funeral
Tomorrow we say goodbye
RIP LEH
