I don’t mean in the literal state
I just mean through its culture and its demeanour
Living life in a way that pushes norms to this feeling
This need of euphoria
Walking through the campsite at 5am this morning
Seeing the strewn out chairs and bottles
The cans and big names
Bombay and bud and somersby
Knowing that it flew through the veins of several last night
Knowing that it caused the feeling and brought the dehydration
That it may have even caused the wrong decisions or the headaches
Knowing it was once my way of life
Knowing that would have easily been me
I’d have been there on the front line like the rest
Ordering to get my fix
Drinking to feel better
To take the edge off
It’s a culture, it’s a way of life
It’s not the danger and not the impact
But I’ve been through worse
I have seen worse
I have watched the vials get filled and liquid pour in
I have felt the nausea
I have felt the panic as my body reacts so unpleasantly
I have sat with it for days as it swirls through my system
And this poison was also man made
But this poison was not alcohol
It was different
It was helping me through the killing of me
Bit by bit
Cell by cell
It’s like I said
I’m sober in a world that’s drunk
And that’s not the issue here
I get it
Life is better with it sometimes
But only when you don’t know
Only when you haven’t seen the reality
behind the curtain
I can never unsee it
And I truly hope I never do
