not a sound

not a whisper
not a noise at all
not a peek 
not a movement 
not a look that says too much
not a tear 
not a care 
not a fear 
not anything at all
not an us
not a pair
not like each other
nothing there
don't try and fix it
don't say its broken
don't get involved in anything
not happy here
not willing to share
the feelings inside as they have become too much to bare
not a sound 
not a whisper 
not a noise at all

I don't look backwards
I don't look forwards
I just stare
I don't complain
I don't lie 
I don't regret

I need to move onwards
to do so, shed the old stuff
let it all float away
wave goodbye
so sincere
not a pain at all

silently it will fall away
shrivel to become a nothing
take up no time of yours or mine
not be a nuisance or a problem
or an issue you all discuss
whisper about me or near me or of me
have an opinion you plead to share

not a sound I said
not a whisper to be heard 
not a noise at all
nothing is to ever be disclosed
don't share too much
never give it up
never give yourself away
just find that place that brings the smiles 
that brings the happiness
that frees your trapped heart
and live it
even if it means leaving
leaving what you have
with risk comes rewards...
My Nan told me that... 

Don't stop me

If I walk towards the door 
don't stop me
don't pull me back or grab my arm
if the tears are rolling down my cheeks
don't try and catch them
just let me go


If I make the decision to leave its because I need to
if I seem like I've changed its probably because I want to
I just don't need to keep raking it all up
I need to start again




Sometimes I think I can see how it may be if I don't do anything
that my whole life will just be a ball which continually rolls backwards
and I will miss out on all that's good and all that's real
and just spend all my time creating the fantasy and reliving the memories
Don't stop me 
when i pack up my heart and shed it of the pain
and shred up the crap that seems to have stuck to it
and just let it all just be as it is today


and don't stop me 
when I try to forget
and please let me stop mentioning you and her and him 
if not for you then for me


don't stop me when I cry it all out
or I shout
or I just run on out and slam the door
so hard that it bangs so loud
and you stand there in shock
stunned by my actions
shocked by my reality
saddened by my loss


not of them but of me
the me that I dream to be
the one that I see in my reflection
in my graduation pictures
in every birthday that passes
in every big event and moment
don't stop me being the me that I want to be
or should and deserve to be
to shine like they do
to be clever and succeed as they will do
to catch up and change quickly and fix the frown to a smile
and wipe away the make up off my face
that got distorted in the rain
that fell from my eyes
and I realised I can also try my best to succeed
and I can also be successful
and I can also be the girl that's admired 
and not the one that spends her nights avoiding
avoiding the happy in case it results in the sad
who avoids the falling in love in case it falls away


Don't stop me from feeling it and being it
the happy that I always wanted
Don't make me forget but let me believe
and have the faith to push on with my dreams and life 




“The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.”