Take me to the park you frequented as a child
Tell me of the games you played, and the first time you grazed your knee
Tell me what you dreamed of and how much you enjoyed life
Tell me about the trees and how this park felt like the whole world
As we walk along the path that you used to walk up on a Sunday afternoon
Tell me about the tiredness in your legs at this steep hill
At this family tradition of Sunday walks and then Sunday dinner
The dinner bubbling as we got home
Our stomachs rumbling
As we walk along this lake, and you point out the ducks and tell me of the rat race that once scared you and your mum
That the swamp below used to have this smell and that you can still remember it
As we arrive at this castle, although a once famous household, tell me about how you remember it before the remodel; that it used to be a presence and look stunning every year, that you could imagine the families that would occupy it; and as you got older you would learn about the love story from two very different households
Firework night was always your favourite, the beautifully lit skies were vibrant in lilacs and whites and golds
Some noises that came from them were screechy but the night just filled you with magic
It felt like you lived in a Disney film
And that this night still remains deeply important to you
The bonfire nights, and the hot chocolate, to the cricket club and the beers
To that plastic flooring covered in mud and warm cans of cider
But still the best firework display for miles
As we approach the gates, you tell me of being stuck in here once, that you outstayed the times and you got locked in
That you were never a good climber and struggled to get out
But you were able to drag yourself up and over, banging and bruising your knees in the process
The park wardens house always so quiet and peaceful
The road was opposite a pub that you would go on to work at when you turned 18.
This job would go on to be the making of you
It gave you spirit and confidence and the potential to believe you could and would achieve higher education
The people you met have never left your memories and although there were some tough experiences and scary times overall it was your safe space
It was also the place that linked to the house in that park, the tunnel underground, the meet up of two people in love
Creating a love that was forbidden, a lot like the story of Romeo and Juliet
Now its no longer and although the building has been gone for over 10 years, I still see it when I think back to that road
I still see the summer nights and football games, and parties,
The karaokes and the music
The regulars and the carefree times
The fun and ease of life was just so real
That young girl had so much to learn
But now as we make our way to a front door that’s changed and the house no longer in our name
You tell me you loved this place
That is brings with it such positive happy memories
That the times just flood in and bring a tear to your eyes
That this was a time in my life I will hold onto forever
Moving on has always been a tough game to play
The unknown always frightened me
The need for expectations to be met and the same old to be stable was always my path
That consistent routine that didn’t change
That inability to be spontaneous a deeply rooted trait
Look at me now
That young girl running up that steep hill in the park of such adventures
She’d never believe me
Not for a second
That this is the life I am currently living
That all those changes and times happened and that my health did suffer
But whatever the experiences I have had
Whatever the pain I have felt and the loss I have had
I will always be that young curious girl
The girl who felt safe in that park
The girl that ran fast and with purpose
Who won the race
Who captured moments and saw the beauty in the most random of places
Who felt the flowers grow and the ground below her soften
The young girl with high hopes and big dreams
