Little Moment of Reasoning

Look at it outside
The world that just fleet by in its urgency
The beautiful countrysides swaying in the winds
The birds singing a song and the sun pushing itself higher than any one has ever been able to reach

Look at it

Walk down the streets that surround your own world
breathe in deep the air that encompasses us all
watch the people around you getting on with there lives
all with a purpose, all with a dream
be silent, be quieter as you walk and you will see it all
witness the happiness in peoples faces as they laugh at jokes or the sadness in the eyes of passers by and hold on tight as this is a ride
a ride of life

When you can, at night pop out
take a stroll and take a moment
leave behind your phones and devices and just be utterly at one with your mind
find a bench and sit down
try your best to slow down
slow down with it all
tell yourself to stop rushing
life will happen as it should
remember those moments
watch them happen
realise they are happening and act on them
don't be so involved in elsewhere
fill yourself with the now, and stop trying so hard to find the futures in the years
be content
if you are not, then ask yourself what it is that is missing, and go and get it
not at this moment but another time
plan it in


Look at it, your life
and make it grow into what ever you want it to
nurture it and give it time, all you desire will present itself
just as a child, your dreams will come true
I promise

Future Gains

I need to find my path
the ground is trashed
I cant see in the dark
I keep falling over
knees all bloody
arms scarred
heart feels faint

I expect this time to pass though
I am always a half full glass girl
I will always get back up
no such thing as a lose in my fight
I always win
always succeed
I strive to complete every mission I set myself

This latest mission has left me weaker than ever before
as its a mission from my desire and dreams
the future I have longed for all my life
the ability to teach
to learn and educate myself to a level I am content with
to be a significant role in someone else's life
to be worthy
to be needed
to be loved

I want to be the girl I used to daydream about
the girl I see in the pictures of my childhood
the talent and raw confidence that I etched out over the years of turbulence
the feeling of never being enough will surely fade over time
the feeling will be shifted to a new positive and vibrant person
the person i keep locked away in my pocket
she can only visit me
she never stays
she is stuck in this life of pretense
of sales and targets and bullshit

it doesn't suit me
the clothes don't fit anymore
they never did
it was never my image
never my creation
just the wardrobe got dull
I didnt change with the fashion

No more
its my time now
my time now
my time
Now
I will get it

Thanks for letting me spill this

Bad Dreams

I wont be the last person to say this
but life is hard
I often sit alone at home when the day is just flying past me and I am just paralysed
I am unable to feel or move or even form a sentence and its scary.

The trouble with my sleeping habits has been a long battle
I am so tired from being tired
I often just lie there and think about everything
Don't do it
It opens up every can of worm that ever lived

Scared is something I feel from the dreams when I have finally passed into sleep
I am lost in these mazes of disbelief and fear
I am waking up in moods and I can't control them
I am fighting my own unconscious and its terrifying

Explain a dream, have you ever tried to?
People look at you like something they trod in
They are like they did what?
Chased you, killed you?
Dreams, what a laugh
we go to sleep to relax and yet I am dealing with it all over again

What is this life becoming?
I sit and I watch people walking passed my windows with there existence in tow
Me sat, just staring out
stuck in this rut
Surrounded by a house, I once loved and now? I cant stand it
I hate the sofa that once brought with it a comfort
The windows just let in too much light
the sun, annoys me

Is this negative?
I didn't want it to be
I wanted it to be a report of my current state of mind
the boggled and confused mind that I wake to
The reflection I don't recognise

Depression? Or just weakness
I don't have bad thoughts when in my normal day... much
I just feel so pulled apart
the directions being dragged are endless
my smile is true
but my eyes say worry and panic
I feel like a burden
My life feels like a burden

Dreams can come true

And should the day arise
Grab it
Hold on to it forever
Not everyone has the chance to dream
And then for that dream to become reality
Not everyone has a 2nd chance

If you know that day is coming
Prepare for it
Don't waste the time you have
Make sure you absolutely smash it
You'll only have one shot at these 3 choices and then that'll be it
Another 12 months until the next shot

So as the day arises be positive
Be exactly who you are
Don't be shy
Don't be nervous
Go out there and shine

A promise

Follow me from the richest of towns
Bring nothing with you but your spirit
Believe that I will change your life
You know I can

Look deep within your soul
See the tears that have fallen in your past
Trust in me, know I will give you everything
Everything you have ever wanted
All you'll ever need
I will change your life
Believe in me

Tie a knot in some string and hang it from that finger
Look at my hands as they let go
And a ring falls down on to you
It promises you happiness
An eternity of love
Of a place where your dreams comes true
Believe in me and I'll promise that's what I'll do

My heart has something to say

Sunshine face and succulent skin
Your body is what my dreams portray
I get lost in your eyes
Your voice soothes all my pains
Your past breaks my heart
As mine probably breaks yours

You are my queen
You are all I've ever wanted and more
I miss you when I'm sleeping
My heart floats when we kiss
I can't get enough of this
Our love your love
What is and what's becoming
Close my eyes and see my future and it's all surrounding you
I need you
Now I have found you I can never lose you
I will compete in any fight to keep you
My strength to protect you is unbreakable
Sunshine smile and perfect face
My beautiful girlfriend
My future wife

Mere Mortals

What could they tell us, if we had the time to ask
What wisdom could they instill onto us
for we are just mere mortals in this town too
we might be fresher faced and always moaning
but still mere

What could they tell us about the olden days
you know, about the times that were actually hard
not these days where because a phone is slow we lose our cool
i mean real battles like the wars

I often wonder in my quiet times about the experiences of people
of any person really but just the notion that they also live
they also have really bad days and cant cope
i think long and hard and get myself all worked up

I have some relatives who are no longer here
and I could kick myself for thinking this all too late
For they were sat in there chairs all day with there heads full of memories
I wish I had plucked at them
asked them the questions that mattered
I know as a youngster, I was scared of them
intimidated by there big chairs and big slippers and stern faces
sat silently in the corner with there cups of tea
asking for me to come up to them and receive my present or kiss there cheek
they were not mere mortals to me
they were royalty
I would often stare into the floor incase they asked me a question

What was I scared of?
If i could go back, i would have asked them, what there favourite subject in school was? There most treasured recipe? What it felt like when they fell in love?
What it was like being older?
What they believed life was all about?

What could they tell us, if we had the time to ask
What wisdom could they instill onto us
for we are just mere mortals in this town too
we might be fresher faced and always moaning
but still mere