Bring me a higher love....

I see you and I see me

In our garden

Cup of tea

So much life and so much glee

I see you and I see me 

just writing what I'm thinking...

Sometimes just sitting about, my mind will drift away

I wont know how to stop it and I know it wants to play

It wants to make up that I have met somebody new

It wants to pretend that we are together and that I love you

Sometimes just sitting I feel myself just zone out

The bare room is dark and the lights have been put out

I am not worried, I don't even feel bothered

Instead I am just sat with a smile on my face.

I don't think I am feeling anything at all

Not an ounce of hurt or pain goes through my thoughts

Its almost like I am just an etch-a-sketch

And someone has come along and shook all the life away

I am just a blank canvas with some paints in my reach

Some pinks and blues and greens and yellows

I have this brush and I'm just sploshing and splashing

Images onto this slate

The life is being processed as I make the marks stain

Stain deeply and set and dry and create

The life is all there in colours all chirpy

All real all normal all painless and free

There is no victim there is no regret there is no grief there is no tears

Its just pinks and blues and greens and yellows 

Sometimes just sitting about, my mind will drift away

I wont know how to stop it and I know it wants to play

I just wish sometimes that this could be 

that this life could erase and I could be free

But when I really think about all that I'd have to give up

I think nah forget it Kim, move one and just shut the f*** up 

written 5/1/12 :) 

Last blog entry of the year 2011

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.

Just a little note to you all, I do wish you a happy new years eve, I hope you have plans set out for the year 2012, I hope you can all learn from your experiences, I hope you leave 2011 with no regrets.

I have had a whirlwind of a year but I have loved every single moment!

I am excited for my night out tonight :D I love any excuse to wear a LBD and heels :D 

xXxXxXxXxXx

                                    

      HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! 

Harmless Crushes..

so, its Christmas eve eve


So this one day I met you
You completely ignored me for weeks
I thought oh great how nice of her
She must not like me


New girl new girl, 
Not many girls in this lot and I'm the new girl being blanked
But things started to change....


Then the ice broke
Words were spoke
I was killing it and she finally noticed me


Feelings started, teams shuffled,
With the other and now with her
Flirting started
Feelings ignited
I was enjoying it all
The buzz, the sarcasm the winding you up


New girl, but liked girl
Doing well girl, 
Doing well for this girl


Harmless crushes,
Keep us on our toes
Make us blush make us feel giddy
Harmless crushes,
Love crushes,
Love the energy and excitement


New girl new girl, 
Three bags full girl :P




Lil mad rhyme lol xxx


Oooooooooooooooooooof nearly Christmas!!!!


&&& YES I like someone :P 

I missed them all tonight...

Christmas always brings the brightest out of people..

I have had such a great day, went back to work and felt so much better for being out the house - not 100% but well enough to make the effort.

I miss those in Liverpool, the last time I saw some people was a long while ago, a couple of months, August in fact and I had such a ball.

I will promise myself several trips up north next year :) 

I deserve it and I need it!

That is all xxx

Times fall away

Not the nicest of days, still not well...

I adore this woman

I was waiting for her to arrive subconsciously 

I felt quite sad today.. 

Being ill does that doesn't it?

The rain didn't help

But I can finally see through the broken mirror,

I can see my reflection in a way I haven't before

I can see the life in my eyes, 

The acceptance of fate

The law of attraction never lets me down

I really hope to feel better tomorrow...

Not just for work but for Christmas...

There is such thing as TOO much time in your own thoughts.... 

& then you wonder, what next??

what could possibly follow on from this year that draws to an end

12 months of every emotion possible mixed together with drama, love and lust

probably the biggest year as far as emotional growth and understanding and its still going by

there are so many places I wish I could revisit from this amazing 2011 

so many people I wish I could have one last chat with 

people bowed out on life this year and it was so sad to see it and hear about it

people got married

people split up

we all carried on 

what next? 

Well this is the time of year people frantically discuss new years resolutions

ones that last such little time but are given so much effort

I see things that hurt me everyday

that pull at my heart strings for silly little reasons

today it was when I was out for a meal with my family, 

an old lady sat with her family 

the old lady made me miss my nan

made me feel guilty for how little I see the one who is still here and miss the one who passed away

I have noticed that I am more in-tune to my own emotions, 

something that 18months ago I had shut down

I feel a lot more than I did back then

back then I ignored it and retaliated with anger and bitterness

I wasnt the devil or anything I was just lost and struggling in the dark for a while

I wish for so much

I wish for so many changes

I hope to be where I want to be 

So that this time next year I can say, wow look at me now

I have so much to give, just finding that one to give it to

Not in any rush any more,

No point chasing other peoples dreams 

Just because my siblings are in relationships and married etc doesn't mean I need to be

Finally been able to think that way... spent years trying to catch up 

realised it wasn't me I was being that way.

I am one of these go-getters though

I don't wait around for things to fall on my lap any more

I was dealt some winning hands this year

So pleased they happened and finally ok with how they ended

Not sure where I was going with this blog tonight, but I feel a little less pressure on my shoulders,

I feel like I have let it out and that I can sleep soundly tonight

Somebody was on my mind these past few days and it has been a little strange, 

But oh well, it is that time of year 

Comes by quicker every year

I am sure when we were younger it took months to get from the 24th December to Christmas day, 

Now it seems to flash by in a blink.

As for 2011, it wasn't what I thought it would be, it blew all my expectations through the floor, it gave me what I wanted and more 

Sad to be ending it alone once more but happy to be here... I will celebrate new year and welcome 2012, to be as we always say, - "The Best One Yet" :)

Good night xx