Sit down

Come and sit down 

Sit with me for a while whilst I search my heart for the words to express my feelings

Not sure if this is heartbreak or regret

I feel like I could explode at the actuality of my racing thoughts

Where did that time even go anyway 

I mean wtaf

This was not in my training

I feel heavy with the weight of the world on my shoulders 

I feel a bizarre feeling flooding my thoughts and mind

I mean is this what it feels like 

Is this what it felt like to my role models

Did they get attached too

I often wonder how did this go so wrong for me

Was it me? 

Can I change it 

Or is this too late

Is this my lesson

A don’t do that again

Lockdown messed us all up

Maybe that’s it

Reliance on ideas that aren’t even real

Reliance of helping others to fill voids

Voids caused by ignorance and fear

Of seeing the damage or my reality

I know I shouldn’t let this go on

But I wish it would never end..

I have been here before now I really think about it

After they move on to the next level 

I felt saddened by the silence left by their personalities and stories

Or their first nerve racking role play or presentation 

By that spark that went off when they understood the theory 

From the continued thank yous and praise of my support and guidance

But now I am left in that room of mine

The one which will soon be filled with new people from all walks of life

And just like my school days I feel proud but sad

They have come so far

So far 

And now they just move on