"My eyes are so tired" but I always look out for you....

Sometimes I think deeply, so much so that I actually leave reality for a moment...
I awake from a dream and i think what was that thought I just had all about? was it necessary??

I dont know.. .Sometimes I forget to care because I feel this feeling is just too much of all of my spare time
that is affects more than i think to let on
and I am typing this away thinking do these people reading understand what I mean?
&& most times I hope they dont, because the majority of cases I dont want them too



See the thing is, I have always been this ONE thing...
But I was just GOOD at hiding it all beneath the duvet or joke or mumble..
Until EVENTUALLY it just blew up within my heart and FEELINGS and I couldnt contain it anymore...

Then ONE DAY I just found myself saying it in mind thoughts and it was already taking over dreams and diaries... I couldn't hide anymore and the truth was I DIDNT WANT TO

I have never been the hugely honest of folk, I would talk and open up but never fully, I kept A LOT back and I think people just assumed I was being ME when I was ACTING straight....

People even now have a problem with how I look and who I say I am.... Which I suppose is their issue right???

Still hurts my feelings when people think I am so MUCH MORE than I am....

Its almost like to these PEOPLE I am NOT enough...

But I am just me, I can only be me and I am now finally comfortable with that...
I wont lie though... I do miss those individuals... and maybe I always will....


BUT sometimes LIFE is just made of SO MUCH MORE.... !!!!!!