Not really for there are no words
No words that could create the blow that I felt as it all came crashing down
I could never draw it either with any colour I could make, for the emotion could never truly be felt through any colour paint
I have been left in the mansion of despair, where every corridor was darkened with memories of what used to be there
No team spirit or shared trust, no till death do we part or I will always love you
I could never catch quick enough, as my spinning plates crashed on down
I can never forget how I felt
But I moved away
I was brought closer to family
I was given a chance to live and love and heal
I was taken to the sea, and the waves they soothed me
The vast views healed me
I felt less alone
I was looked after, watered and fed
I had comfort and compassion
My once lonely existence was transformed
As I grew stronger my world changed for the better
My treatment got tougher but I felt stronger
It has not been easy, in fact far from it
It has been the most difficult chapter ever
As my life is etched onto the page, in ink that never stains or runs when it gets wet from my tears as they fall
and memories are drawn and fear is real and nightmares are constant
I sit and I watch as the days turn to nights and the sun sets on skies that glow
The views could never be imagined for they outdo any fantasy
Such beauty in the nature of this wonderful place
But then comes fear
Fear of missing out
Fear of being stuck in this independent rut
Fear of not meeting my tribe or my people
Fear of being so rural I’ll be lost forever
Fear that I’ll be forgotten and single forever
That I have no scene or community
No scene for me to walk down
No rainbow above the door
No drag queen on the stage
But as I said before my grass is already green
This grass is nurtured well and greener than any colour I’ve ever seen
That scene is no more
The doors have been closed and the boards have gone up
The streets are no longer full of connections
But empty and bare
The rainbow is just a reminder on the streets of the times that could of been there
Businesses are closed and graffiti is present
The new shift has moved in and the village is forever shaken
To type this out right now and to know how I felt
To know I had fear that I’d spend life on my own
But fear not as I see that the grass is not greener
The fence is an illusion and created by fear
The fear is just words that encapsulates life
It gets tighter and tighter and cuts off the blood
It leaves you torn and bruised and scared
But I see through it
I see the truth
I see the light
I will be alright
