I’m armoured and I wont cry
You should have seen me this passed year
And then you’d see why
Come to me here as I lay on my couch and watch the world spin by me
Tell me your tales and horror stories and I won’t even whimper or scream
For I’ve seen the truth and the darkest of forests of which you’ll never see
I’ve seen the real horror story
I’ve been the main part of a twisted tale
So your attempts to scare me are not welcome
I have sat in a room with people all attached by wires to poison
I’ve seen the faces of people age and hair get thinner and keep falling
Ive seen the fear in my own eyes every time i call my emergency line
Ive seen my life just pulled like a mat from under my feet as i stand there shaking and feeling weak
Ive cried so much that now when i do it stings that little bit more
Ive seen my whole joy of life as it was, be drained like my blood through my picc line
Ive met people who have had to stop treatment because if they dont then their symptoms will never leave them
Ive had to keep going alone on this path as none of you can come with me or help me
Im not scared of anything anymore for when life throws you this nothing trumps it
So come to me now with your gossip and your opinions and your tales of how you think you can do life better
So come to me now armed with hate and anger and jealousy and even more terror
Come to me now with the scariest costume and face paints that would make others whimper
Come to me now in this ring with the ropes all around us and tell me you’ll fight me
Push me and punch me and throw me to the ground as they cheer and shout out your name
See the bruises form and my clothes torn as you count me out of the boxing
But watch and wait for I’ll rise up higher
And surprise you all with my inner strength
You may think you’ve hit me that hard but watch me as I knock you further
Ill KO you before you can blink
My scars show courage
My eyes show strength
My heart it beats harder with each day that I’m here
As I fight for my life
And I wrap my heart tight
And I trust in the medicine
And welcome the outcome
Of all of this struggle
Of tripping and hurting
My joints and bones weaken but still they keep me moving
And my mind stays calm
And I concentrate on my breath
And I activate my higher self
And I hold onto my chakra
I close my eyes and I sit in my present
And I put out to the world what I want
I want my health back
My life back
Me back
And I’ll get that
Because I’m me
And this is my truth
And don’t you ever forget that
“Namo Amida Butsu”
